24 September, 2020

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An Open Letter To The American President Before His Geneva Pyrotechnics

By Kiribanda De Silva Sumanasekara – 

Dear Mr. President Obama

I am writing you before the Ides of March!!

I am a Sinhala Buddhist from Sri Lanka and I want to be blunt right at the outset: You are an idiot!

Who are you to impose sanctions against the greatest country in the world? Who are you to pass any resolutions against us? You are an idiot. Let me tell you why.

obama-horn_-1280x960Ours is the greatest country in the world. This is known as Dharmadeepa- the island of righteousness. This land has 2500 years of written history. That history is a history of non-violence because there were Buddhist monks all along advising our kings on non-violence. Yes. We did have some wars in the past. But they were merely to protect non-violence.  I know that you know some English even though you are African. So read Mahawansa in English. Even at the war against the foreign king Elara only one and half human beings were killed in our country. All others had not entered the Path and, therefore, they were not human beings. How many times do we have to tell you that human beings have to be Sinhala Buddhists?

Mr. Obama you are an idiot. You are going to work against us because of that shitty Channel 4 thing. It was made in an NGO studio in Colombo. There are some Sinhala traitors in Colombo. That Channel 4 thing is their handiwork. It is something like Wag the Dog the Hollywood movie. Not that I am into Hollywood. In our country no one watches Hollywood crap because our people are Buddhist and they know that Hollywood is there to instigate desire in human beings. With our Buddhist upbringing, we can resist Hollywood with no problem. But I have heard of Wag the Dog, and channel4 is exactly like that.

Speaking of Hollywood, the audio-visual wing of American imperialism, has totally failed in Sri Lanka. Our government has not banned Hollywood stuff. In fact they are available everywhere in the country. But people don’t give a damn about them because our people are Buddhists. Since our honorable monks have trained our people in the practice of non-attachment and so on the people treat “Desire” as the main enemy. So Hollywood is a total failure in Sri Lanka. Mr. Obama, be honest, that is why you are against us.

An American consumerism! Another failure in Sri Lanka. With our Buddhist upbringing we normally don’t indulge in gratification of senses. We don’t like owning desirable objects. And, moreover, we are non-violent and against any form of killing. That is why your car culture is a total failure here. We only trust in economical public transport and bicycles. Come and see any town in Sinhala Buddhist areas, you will see pure simplicity. And McDonalds, Pizza Hut, KFC!! They couldn’t sell a single meal in our country. No. Our government did not prevent them from coming in. They all tried to start business here. But Sinhala Buddhist would not go to them. There are some non-Buddhists and non-Sinhalese eating at them. But the Buddhists! No way!! That is how our Buddhism has trained us in non-attachment, non-violence and simplicity.  As Buddhists we have successfully resisted consumerism, capitalism and even Western modernity.  As our greatest living thinker Professor Nalin de Silva have elaborately expounded in his weekly treatises in Sinhala paper Irida Divina and English paper The Island, Sinhala Buddhism is only real challenge to Western modernity and Judaic-Christian thought. Be honest man, that is why you are against us.

By the way get your Embassy in Colombo collect Nalin de Silva treatises. Are you puzzled by his name? No he is not Portuguese. He is using that name to mock you Westerners since you don’t accept any great idea unless it is put forward by a Western White man. Our great thinker, de Silva, argued in Divina several times that we need to arm ourselves to go to war with America if needed. He is right. You know what. We are ready. Bring it on. By resisting Hollywood, consumerism, Google, and the like we have won the cultural war against the imperialism of your country. With the same spiritual power, we can beat you in the war. Bodu Bala Sena, led by a giant-like monk, is getting ready for that. By the way, having seen that extremely honorable monk’s photos you would think that, in the amount of flesh in his body, he equals a typical American in size. I have heard thus (Evam me sutam): he got that kind of physique by the merits he gathered in his previous lives and this life. Though a heap of merits, he is no hurry to reach Nirvana. He will surely reach New York leading a battle ship, if you really insist. You are an idiot! Who is afraid of Geneva?

Your kind of embargos, resolutions will not obstruct our speedy flow to a great future. Our president is the most foresighted one in the human history. I cannot reveal you all the tricks he has against your idiotic embargos but I will tell you some so that you have time to rethink your plans. Economically, we are not scared at all. Our president has so much wealth and he is ready to sacrifice it all. He is coming from a very rich family with connection to royalty going to back at least 20 centuries. He has land everywhere in the country. In case of emergency he will sell them all to feed us, people. Once he became the president, he asked one of his brothers to get 10% from every development project, business and so on. The brother did exactly as he was told. Now, all that money is in a place you will never able to freeze.  That countless amount is called “Nation Saving Fund.” It is enough to feed us for decades in case of emergency. All ministers (about one hundred of them) also have used the same technique to contribute that Fund. Our first lady, too, has come out to help us along with her brothers and relatives. The Lady Fund, under able leadership of her brother, has raised so much money that it has already bought a whole fleet of airplanes in case your sanctions jeopardize our international travels. That is a bit on our economic front. You are an idiot!

One more thing, your country too has unwittingly contributed to our economic strength: When two of our president’s brothers were in America they made some dollars working as janitors, dishwashers, gas station attendants and so on while they were following higher degrees at Harvard and Columbia. When they returned to Sri Lanka in 2005 to help their brother to save the country, they brought those dollars with them. In case of economic sanctions against us, they have that money, too. You do not know what personal sacrifice is. Learn it from these exemplary brothers, you idiot.

If you were to go ahead with your plans in March, I am afraid; it will hurt American people very badly. I cannot imagine how they will live their life without the stuff we export. Without our fish, rice, butter, clarified butter, organic vegetables, oranges they will starve to the brink of death. Many other countries too will stop exporting those things to your country in support of mine. Without Ceylon tea in the morning, Americans will be sleepy all day. And it will affect their efficiency and productivity. Without the lingerie made in Sri Lanka, American love-life will be in danger. The voluptuous American Victorias will lose their sensual Secrets. (As Sinhala Buddhist I have been taught not to think of such worldly pleasures but I am telling these to get you to think.) The other side of the coin is equally important. If we stop importing American stuff! It will be a huge dent on American economy. This is only the suffering of American people. People in Europe! They practically live on the things we export and on the money we import from them. Mr. President, you are an idiot!

In the field of international relations, we are pretty much prepared. Our able Foreign minister, Professor GL Peris, has been traveling the world for months. He knows the art of persuasion. The leaders of many powerful countries, whose names I hold back for now, have agreed to support us because they all have learned international law from the books our professor has written. Yes. You just went to Harvard Law School. Our man is a law professor who has shelves of books to his credit. The professor gave up that illustrious career to help our president to build the country. Now, under the visionary leadership of the president’s elder son who is also lawyer, who has won historic courtroom battles, the Law Professor has already persuaded world leaders to vote against you. Mr. President, you are in idiot!

Mr. Obama, let me tell you one last thing. Sri Lanka is a universe in itself. We have all the knowledge, science, technologies that we need. Buddhism has given us all the wisdom we need and we have used that wisdom wisely. It is the Judaic- Christian thinking that teaches that human world is interconnected and we are inherently bound to the rest of the world. Our Sinhala Buddhist thought is radically different. We think that our country is a separate universe in the Universe and we are not all that concerned what is going on elsewhere. Therefore, we do not care where Geneva is. Whatever Geneva decides to do does not matter to us at all. With our great mental concentration and meditative power we can always hold the Evils of Geneva at bay.

Since we are a universe unto ourselves, we do not need any knowledge from anywhere else. We have more than a dozen of great universities producing all the knowledge we need. And those universities function very well under the guidance of one of the greatest statesmen named SB Dissanayake and his buddies, incredibly wise vice-chancellors.  All those vice chancellors have created the knowledge needed for the universe named Sri Lanka. If you want just check out their publication records in university websites. Minister SB Dissanayake and our president, with great effort, persuaded them to stop their knowledge-production for a few years and to accept vice chancellor jobs in order to strengthen ‘our knowledge front.’ Now, we do not have to borrow any form of knowledge from the rest of the world, specially from the West. University of Kelaniya is ground breaking in that sense since even God Natha is working with the scientists there. God Natha descended from heaven at the invitation of the great sage Nalin de Silva. Mr. President Obama, you always boast your great universities. Look at our ones. Specially look at our vice chancellors! Real men of real wisdom! You idiot, we are ready in our knowledge front too.

Dear Mr. President Obama, I can go on like this for ever. But I guess this is enough for you to make up your mind. I can tell you all crimes your country committed in Vietnam, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan and so on.  For one thing, since we are a universe unto ourselves those things do not matter to us. Another thing is that I have seen our great orator minister Wimal Weerawansha is telling all that to our people in Sinhala so that our people know the truth.

Mr. President you are an idiot. If you are plotting to take our president, his brothers and sons to a certain electric chair, you are mistaken. There are plenty of others to step into the shoes of those brave brothers. Take extremely wise minister Champika Ranawaka, for example. I have heard that he is ready to form a kind of coalition and become the president if the royal family is trouble. Even Mr. Weerawansha can be the president of our beautiful country. There are some other names and I will tell you about them in a personal letter. This is an open letter.

I am a Sinhala Buddhist and I hate American imperialism. Yet I love American people. That is why I am writing this letter so that I can prevent those nice people from suffering as a result of your stupid acts in Geneva in March. Even though I write this by my own name this letter represents the collective self of good many Sinhala Buddhists of my country.

Yours sincerely

Kiribanda De Silva Sumanasekara

PS

Several of Buddhist chairmen of Local Councils (Pradeshiya Sabha) send their greetings to your wife and daughters, specially to the daughters.

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Latest comments

  • 2
    11

    I don’t Believe OBAMA for a Second.

    He may be one from the affected minority in the USA. He may be Black. But, he did not face the reality in the USA.

    Why do I say that. He was for himself and he was a very ambitious politician.

    When Blacks of the Southern States were affected by the Hugh Cyclone, he as a Presidential candidate, chose not to visit them. Many minorities and weak nations tried to approach him when he was the PRESIDENT. But, he was BLIND and DEAF for them.

    Only EXCUSE is he had a job to do even if was doing the Wrong thing for the world.

    So, don’t expect anything from him. He is just serving himself and not any one.

    • 0
      0

      Mr. Kiribanda is brilliant; now, I can retire and enjoy my Tennis. Well, there is God, after all!

  • 10
    5

    Kiribanda, Kiribandal

    You are the worlds great ignoramus. You call Sri Lanka a Buddhist country ?/ You fool then what has happened to all the preaching of the Lord Buddha. You Buddhists are killing each. Its best that you shut your gap and go to sleep

  • 12
    3

    Mr. Kiribanda, I don’t think that you are a Buddhist. A Buddhist cannot abuse a President of a country, the way you did. HE the President of United States may be wrong, if it is so, what we have to do is not to abuse him, but to educate him and bring him to understand the real truth. The type of addressing you did to him is not going to do any better for the country. Buddhists cannot bust into anger. Do whatever you want to do in a respectable manner.

    • 4
      4

      UPALI

      “A Buddhist cannot abuse a President of a country, the way you did.”

      Where does it say you can’t abuse the president?

      • 0
        0

        N V;
        there was a joke cartoon circulating in F B.

        Obama; SMS TO Mahinda, “Take Care”.
        Aahinda Jarapassa ; sms to OBM, Machan That is not “TA KE”,
        That is Kurakkan colour “SAA TA KE” on my Ca re.
        Obama; Oh my god. you bloody idiot.

  • 6
    3

    CT ….In your article you attack the Sinhala Buddhists in this country and if you think this is fair journalism just wait for the consequences.When the Sinhala Buddhists are unfairly targeted just because of the wrong doings of few people, in every community, religion there are such people. As a responsible news provider we never expect such low attitude from you.

    • 4
      3

      Ranjith

      “When the Sinhala Buddhists are unfairly targeted just because of the wrong doings of few people,”

      You have to be precise, say that wrong doing of clan and its cronies

  • 5
    2

    And you owe an apology from the majority of this country

    • 4
      3

      Kiribanda, I don’t know if this is your real name, but you are a real idiot. Don’t use the media for writing this type of crap which helps no one, definitely not your mother country. You idiot make the beautiful Sri Lanka look ugly.

    • 5
      2

      Ranjith

      Majority owes a big apology to all people for putting up with tyranny.

  • 4
    4

    I wish we can eat paper. This dun idiot has no idea what so ever. Fuck ltte and their elements but this dun fuck who wrote this should seriously think about what is he talking about.

    • 2
      1

      “Fuck ltte and their elements but this dun fuck”

      fuckocrite he is your one and only reborn Cyril Mathew .

  • 8
    8

    Shame on Colombo Telegraph for publishing such an article. Obviously, there is no such person called Kiribanda Sumanasekara. And it is quite clear it was written by a LTTE supporter. I thought there was hope in CT. Obviously, it is another cog in the terrorists’ wheel.

    • 5
      3

      Sean:

      I can understand the shear desperation for one of your lot the so called Kiribanda bringing you into disrepute and why are you blaming CT and LTTE.
      Man it is Ela Kolla who has finally broken through. Shame on you.

    • 1
      0

      I am laughing my socks off! Are you lot incapable of appreciating satire?

      Good job, KiriBanda!

  • 1
    2

    Sinhalese [Edited out]

  • 6
    3

    This to the Moderator:

    I think you owe an apology to the Leader of the Free World the Right Honourable Mr.Barak Obama to publish an Article in which the writer insults his integrity in such despicable manner.
    I think you should remove the Article forthwith without causing immense harm to the reputation of CT.

    • 0
      0

      bull shit cow shit cattle shit Obummer!Jam Boy Peace prize naughty boy.

  • 4
    1

    Really funny letter,and hope the others know this is meant to be sarcastic.

  • 1
    2

    Mr. K.banda your comment is relevant at this juncture, but the way you have put is wrong. It should be short as well as not abusive, would have given the correct message to him.

  • 6
    0

    I was laughing so much reading this, AND to the comments from many people that could not see the sarcasm and irony meant to be AGAINST Sri Lanka, the SL government and the today downbroken Buddhist teaching/living, (among many targets) in the country. So SAMBO, I’m affraid that the Sri Lankan public have no sense of humor or have not at all understood the irony/sarcasm in the article. At least not the majority of those who have commented on it…

  • 3
    1

    CT, Don’t think, Hon Obama or USA people will believe your foolish article.

  • 1
    2

    What kind of idiot is this? Is he dead to call sri lankan the worlds best country? Killing, raping, buddhis monks destroying every church and kovil, harassing people, media people who talk against government get killed, people are thrown out of thier own houses dues to mentally reatrd gota? WTF is this shit head talking about?

  • 1
    1

    My god I cant believe these comments. Tell me non of them are serious. If this is the comprehension level of the English reading (presume to be some what educated)public of Sinhala Buddhists Rajapaksha tyranny, Nalin De Silva philosophy and Weerawansha oratory is too good for us.

  • 1
    3

    I was expecting to read something well written and making a valid point but this letter is a very bad joke filled with inaccuracies in fact and logic. The pwerson who wriote it is a fool and Colombo telegraph loses credibility by publishing such a poor work of “journalism”.

    • 1
      1

      ” filled with inaccuracies in fact and logic. The pwerson who wriote it is a fool”

      But you sound like a fuckocritie when your mahawamse says thus:

      “”people of the Lion’–because Vijaya’s father was actually believed to have been a lion.”” – Prof. Dr. Nira Konjit Wickramasinghe of Leiden University, The Netherlands (french national did not know nappy till 2 years old on MR pay list)

      You are like the west indies scum crying for freedom- the indigenous Arawak were killed and african slaves were bought in to run the plantations.

      Portuguese bought the cinnamon peelers and the Dutch bought the nutmeg cultivators- which is you of course. Because the north Indians traveled northwards towards Romania and beyond and they are known as ROMA and not your colour- they are horse riders- the Spanish took the horses to USA.(its well documented european history)Their music is Baila Me- by Gypsy kings.
      To hide this fact you disenfranchised the tea worker who was bought by the British. While the British gave all residents the right to vote in 1931.
      The Kerala (small state) pepper cultivation slaves did exactly like you and more.
      Freedom was an accident in the chaos. Freedom is always plucked.

      Like the Americans say – Now deal with it Dalit Slaves.

  • 2
    4

    Well tried by enemies of Srilanka.By the unpatriots for the unpatriots. We are not foolish its so childish. Whole letter bare the hallmarks of enemies of Lanka.

    • 2
      1

      “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others, merely because you were born in it”.-Patriotism is the incubator of wars.

      kakul deke Singhayas- Bestiality Breed Slaves BBS

  • 2
    1

    Amazed at the number of people that took trouble to leave comments that don’t understand SARCASM!

  • 1
    1

    Idiot Kiribanada,
    Touch U er head and see whether horns mounting.
    I feel sorry for Colombo Telegraph.
    Orbit

  • 1
    1

    Kiri Banda, I understand your frustration. In politics, name calling happens when no sensible answer or word found. Writing is considered as an intelligent avenue for debate or arbitration. You are abusing the writing to vent your anger. You are hiding behind a fake name and hurling insults. This is not a start to dialogue. Please stop making any more nasty comments on any one.

  • 2
    0

    Dang, if we lot in CT can’t get satire, then perhaps we deserve to have the Rajapaksa’s rule us for a while longer!

    Good job, CT! Enjoyed this tremendously.

  • 1
    0

    CT, please bring back Kiribanda to respond to our comments!! It’ll be a hoot! God (oops, sorry, Lord Buddha) knows we need some laughs after years of despotic governance.

  • 0
    0

    Why are you pointing at Obama. RAJAPAKSA IS MAKING MILLIONS ON THE SIDE.

  • 2
    1

    Who is this idiot who wrote this article? On the other hand we need buffoons like him to keep us amused. Ha ha ha. Keep on writing kiribanda- we need some swabasha educated cattle on this website.

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