28 May, 2022


Eight Policemen, Three Bikes And Abusive SMSs From Overseas!

By Emil van der Poorten –

Emil van der Poorten

Emil van der Poorten

I don’t know whether to document and hang on the wall of my workspace accounts of recent events in my life as “badges of honour” or just to be simply ashamed of what my motherland produces in the matter of alleged “humanity” that chooses to indulge in efforts at “communication.”

In any event, I expect that when I next bump into an old schoolmate of mine from our days at Trinity, he’s going to (again!) gently chide me with the reproach that I am “an angry man!”  As I told him then and as I will tell him again with (additional proof for my averment), “Sorry, my friend, those with whom you work, shoulder to shoulder, give me little choice, unless I’ve had my backbone removed since last we met!”

These are again becoming very “interesting” times for me and those around me thanks to the “civilization” that the Rajapaksa regime has visited on our island home. And let me be bloody clear on the subject, this IS my home whether its current rulers believe so or not!

Anyway, let’s get on to the cause of my ire today.

Less than a week ago, I was told that there were seven or eight members of the local constabulary under and around a small bridge on the road that serves me and several other families in the area.  There were, apparently three motor bikes on the verge of the road.  Wild creepers had been draped in an effort to conceal them from the gaze of any passers-by.  Several of the policemen were under the bridge and a few were on the bridge deck at the time my informant encountered them.  Every single one of them was from the local station and my informant, as one whose son-in-law is, in fact, a local policeman, knew whereof he spoke.

To place this little gathering in context, let me say that the road on which this bridge is located is about two kilometers long and, except for a few dwellings on the first hundred metres of it, has no human habitation adjacent to it along its entire length.  I happen to live close to its extremity.

When this rather bizarre occurrence was reported to me, I phoned the policeman who serves as a “beat cop” for our part of rural Galagedera and who I was told was among the policemen on and around the bridge.

Suffice it to say that while our conversation was cordial enough – we’ve known each other for several years now – the explanation he gave me for being at the location was not very convincing, given the fact that we know each other well enough to be frank with regard to law enforcement or crime prevention issues.

I used the terms “bizarre” and “outlandish” quite freely in a recent column and don’t know in which to place this particular incident.

And now on to my second vignette.

The hordes with whom my old school-mate chooses to make common cause has now had one of its more slimy supporters launch what he (she?) thinks might be a more effective campaign to silence me.

On the 17th of January I received the following SMS message:

“(….)l to gandaya Weerakoon too. OK?
Lotus (not Karapothu) 17/01/14 , 11:36”

Given the fact that this was, to put it mildly, inexplicable and without precedent I responded with,

“Who or what the hell is this?”

Back came the following:

Nice! CT is all cleaned up!!! But u r up to ur neck in shit U lansi c…t (abusive term for female pudenda).  U thought eavesdropping and info stealing clever? Wait  for it . S’thing is coming! 18/01/14 11:30″.

The number from which this garbage originated was 614  669 19667, which I understand is a mobile number in Melbourne, Australia, a country where, in the last General Election, the primary protagonists, Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott, were engaged in a refugee-bashing competition in their efforts to secure victory, trotting out the “Tigers are coming” rant as fuel for that argument.

Interestingly, Colombo Telegraph has had occasion to recently delete comments made about the material I submit for publication to them because those comments apparently contravene their editorial and publication policy which, I am sure, is not permissive in the matter of scurrilous text parading as criticism.

Even though Australia has long been pilloried as the land of convict settlement, it seems that its current history, inclusive of those with access to cellphones suggests that it might, in the 21st Century, truly be stretching every sinew to live up to that very unhappy stereotype, with the assistance of a bunch of Sri Lankan government acolytes who, despite their allegiances, have sought refuge in the land down under.  Talk about actions speaking louder than words!  Here they are singing hosannas to Rajapakistan while enjoying the creature comforts, not to mention democratic practices of what once was part of the British Empire!  They certainly qualify for classification as the southern part of a horse going north, profiting from singing hosannas to the 21st Century Dutugemunus in Sri Lanka while enjoying all that Australia has to offer.

Suffice it to say, however, that it will take a little more than scurrilous SMSs to have me throw overboard those values with which I’ve grown up and found, over the proverbial three-score-years -and-ten to be what life’s all about. But then, neither the authors of this kind of crap or those in whose employ they perform their tasks are capable of understanding those who seek to simply lead dignified lives even in the Sri Lanka of today.  That would be totally alien to their experience and beyond their comprehension.

A final word before this column ends: these incidents DO serve to break the monotony of rural life on top of a little hill in the Central Highlands of Sri Lanka!

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Latest comments

  • 1

    Well said this article is a good example for the human freedom in chin lanka
    Also Australia still a criminal landfill

  • 0

    Poor you!

    You don’t deserve such abuse even if you receive transcripts of “eavesd-roppings” and text messages from “sources” in Colombo for use in your weekly schit column. Do you Elmo?

    That is all meaterial usable to enlighten the CT reader and to save the country from Buddhist extremeism, like the NSA has instructed the world.

    Helping foreign hymie interests gain control here is fine. Anyone reacting, of course, is on the pay roll of the Rajapakses.

    One thing. Policemen under the bridge is disturbing news. I think you will have to demand security from those foreign embassies [Edited out]

    • 2


      “I think you will have to demand security from those foreign embassies [Edited out]”

      Of course you are right.

      The nations security is in the hands of a foreigner. The worse part is he is an American.

      Would it matter if Emil van der Poorten sought protection from those foreign embassies while the imported hangman refuses to do his duty. In case if you don’t know what it is, it is the Defence Secretary’s responsibility protecting people?

      Since you have been sitting on your brain far too long, judging right from wrong becomes difficult for you.

      BTW, what is Thirrukkural?

  • 8


    Looks like you didn’t have a topic for this week’s column. So you indulge in some autobiography. Is it necessary to keep on reminding us “central college” types that you are a Trinitian. Geez ….. give us a break. I feel sorry for your tormentors, more than for you, because their lives must be so pathetic they have nothing better to do. Life can be a bitch at times you know.

    • 1

      yah, unfortunately all forms of working of his devious mind, including this one, are known to analysts! Ela kolla, OutRider and what else?

      Why does the world hate him and the entire hoard of pootens so much. [Edited out]

    • 1


      “Geez ….. give us a break”

      Yes of course you can have a break. Don’t visit CT for another 10 years so that we too could have a break from you.

      • 1

        Dear Native,

        Our imported defence Sec has prevented not only the poor inhabs getting blasted by suiciders, but he also has given safe havens to geriatric expats to build eco lodges in old LTTE patch, to be able to indulge in their favourite past times, including anti Sinhala, anti Buddhist conversions.

        When our locals try to point out these activities, you seem to get agitated.

        Aren’t you guys all for freedom,of speech, gay rights,spiritual Buddhism, Separation and Western values and so on ?.

        Isn’t 10 years without CT is a bit harsh for having a go at Poorten, I mean in a well written, properly “syntaxed “,and some what hilarious response?.

        • 0

          K.A Sumanasekera

          OutRider demanded “Geez ….. give us a break”

          He should not constraint himself out of affection for fellow readers. Let him have 10 years if he wants another 10 years he is free to have it.

          BTW you too can have a break if you so desired.

  • 1

    feel anguished to read this news.

    Karma is a bitch.
    One day all the Rajapakses and the cronies will going to pay heavy price for their sins.

  • 4

    This interesting vignette illustrates the present-day challenge to any good citizen who has the temerity to put their head above the parapet and show even a passing interest in civic matters – openly, without hiding behind a nom de plume. The like-minded amongst us will agree or disagree with the writer, or each other, and leave it at that. However, we now have a sub-class steeped in the variable education standards of the last thirty-five years, to whom such civilised niceties are alien. They pander to their insecurities by resorting to crude cowardly threats against those who they will disagree with, while hiding in whatever slimy foxhole they have built for themselves. Those who indulge in this type of activity tend to gravitate from 1) nouveau riche sympathisers of the ruling regime, and 2) those who would feel bound to defend the ‘honour’ of their tribe/’Motherlanka’ – usually, whilst buttressing the lower economic strata of another country, a safe distance from home. The in-favour nesting ground for such low life for some years now has been the antipodes (but the species has many of its practitioners in northern climes too). Anyone who has the misfortune to be button-holed by one of these odious types will recognise them by their standard patter; the diatribe against the country they have been able to get into, the old colonial masters, ‘white bastards’ etc, all the time claiming benefits and enjoying whatever they can scrounge in their adopted homes. They are the scourge of decent Sri Lankans in those lands who shun them at every possible opportunity. Mr van der Poorten, these threats will indeed have to be your ‘badges of honour’ for your continuing courage and I am afraid to tell you that you will not be able to rely on any of the current forces charged with preserving law and order in this miracle of Asia that is ours to endure in this current era. Whatever you do, do not let them silence you.

    • 0

      Thank you Spring kaputa.

      Everything you have said is right. You are talking about a [Edited out]

  • 0


    you need to stop taking too much of the divine brew . you are disgracing your and my school . [Edited out]

    • 0

      It is because of the likes of you that I have always desisted from falling back on “the old school tie” for respectability. Now you’ve gone and proven the wisdom of that decision. In spades!

    • 0

      Poo Poo. what a disgrace if you were also a SCHOOl mate of Emil.

      I never thought lickers of far abusive such as you would have ever been born from that school. Recalling my memories about late Kadirgamar – one of the great sons of the lanka ever produced in recent years.

  • 0

    This is gripping stuff, please update us if you see any more policemen or get another text message LOL

    • 0

      I know you! How is defence strategy going?

      Monitoring well?

  • 0

    Love every bit of this” vignette” and comments.
    till cops stay UNDER the bridge or culvert the wisdom words can fly high!
    Is Galagedara a hamlet in down under??

  • 0

    Is this the bridge that Mike built and refused to vacate for a couple of days because he suspected someone of stealing the construction material? May be you need to remind the local constabulary of that episode Emil..

  • 1

    Classic slander of the government over a minor incident. These things do happen all over the world specially in the so called civilized west. The fights of gang members and inaction authorities if the victims are non-white is legendary in those nations.
    This Trinity saga is pathetic. We all know former students of these big schools are bitter with the government as they have lost their privileged status in the society. This is the same thing the Tamils are bargaining. They do not want to respect democracy and majority rule where hoards of rural population has now entered into cream positions in the government and elsewhere through their merit. We have come a long way when these big schools produced not so bright but they entered as planters and the armed forces and other privileged positions in the country.

    • 0

      Nawaz Dawood:
      Is this yet another pseudonym for one of the “usual suspects” or are you determined to make your mark in the matter of stupidity and writing just plain irrelevant rubbish?

      Have you checked recently whose progeny continue to attend the so-called “elite schools” and the manner in which their conduct has brought disgrace to the reputation of those schools? Does Royal College and an attempted mid-air exit from an airliner ring a bell by any chance?

      I actively opposed, over more than 30 years, governments in power in one of the countries you seek to describe as follows: “These things do happen all over the world specially in the so called civilized west. The fights of gang members and inaction authorities if the victims are non-white is legendary in those nations” and certainly didn’t receive so much as an anonymous phone call during that time, leave alone an SMSs couched in filthy language that speaks volumes about (your friends) the senders! And remember that, in case you didn’t know, I happen to belong to that category of the citizenry described as “people of colour.” Also, what have gang-fights in western black communities got to do with ANYTHING in what I have written?
      Does the old Sinhala expression, “Koheda yanney, malle pol” ring a bell? If it doesn’t, it certainly should!

      • 1

        [Edited out] terminology has really agitated our Mr Poorten.

        It didn’t even come from our Sinhala Buddhists , because they wouldn’t know what the hell it is…..

        What about our poor Diaspora residents who are addressed as Black c…s quite often even in work places?.

        And these Western mates of Mr Poorten don’t discriminate whether these Diaporians are from Elite schools or Central schools..

        Dawas Dawood is right on the money.

        It is about time the Colombo Elite and Intelligentsia accept the fact that they have to share the new peace and path to prosperity with the rest of the inhabitants. on equal basis.

        They also must realize that the rural village people are the ones who made sacrifices big time to provide the current favourable and pleasant living conditions prevailing in the country.for the Elite to live in their luxury Condos and frequent all you can eat Buffets on weekends.

        And not forgetting the luxury KFC s, McDonalds, and fatty Pizza for the city kids after school s and Zero Coke for their Gym Junky Mums.

        Would Mr Poorten be living in his Eco Lodge in our pristine Virgin Forest precinct if Prabakaran was around?.

        Perhaps possible.

        But Dawas and his people would have been out of bounds for sure ….

        Is it “Koheda Yanne Mallay Pol” ?…..

        • 0

          K.A. Sumanasekera:
          I suppose that one of these days you are going to write something other than the incomprehensible, lunatic tripe you are so consistent with.
          However, I hope you’ll forgive me for not holding my breath in anticipation of such an event!

  • 1


    You live in a Land where Thuggery reigns supreme and there is no Rule of Law. Any one who challenges King Mahintha will bite the dust. If proof was needed as to whether Australia is a Land of Convicts ( Where a lot Sri Lankan Sinhalese have taken refuge) Tony Abbot is living embodiment of those who were shipped to Australia from Britain Centuries ago.

    My concern is for your safety and I understand the dangers to which you have submitted yourself by openly criticising the King and without wishing to frighten you more the following is what happens to those who overstep the mark according to Chandraprema Author of Gothas War.

    “If there is anything objectionable in the manner in which they met with their deaths, they should be classified as extrajudicial killings of terrorist suspects and taken up separately. Even though Sivaram was the editor of Tamilnet which was as widely read as any local newspaper, and Siva himself was a journalist of no mean talent, the Editors’ Guild never thought of offering him membership for obvious reasons.

    Wish you the best and hope you hang in there until the King is dethroned after March 2014 which will be rubber stamped when there is a change at the top in India and hopefully Sri Lanka can be brought back in to the League of Civilised Nations where she belongs.

  • 0

    Emil all support to you for writing the truth and this Nawaz chap seems to be an imposter pretending to be a muslim and a trinitian!

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