18 April, 2019

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History Likely To Repeat Itself As Tragedy, Not Farce

By Emil van der Poorten –

Emil van der Poorten

Emil van der Poorten

I don’t know whether it was Karl Marx who said something about history repeating itself as farce, but the prospects for a young village entrepreneur of my acquaintance suggests the possibility of tragedy rather than farce.

I have in the past referred to the banditry that those who lease our durian trees for the fruiting season are subject to.  To recap the scenario: we lease our durian trees out to the highest bidder who then proceeds to erect a watch-hut (pela) and, with the assistance of family and, perhaps, a friend or two, depending on the crop yielding enough to pay them a retainer, try to ensure that the predators, both the biped and quadruped brands, are kept at bay, the fruit harvested and then, either, sold to a retailer or the fruit retailed by the lessee himself who takes them down to the A10 highway connecting Kurunegala with Kandy.

What is seemingly a simple enough equation has ended up quite violently with major tragedy – loss of life – being avoided more by simple luck than any kind of planning on the part of the lessee.

Raiders' "Durian-harvesting tool"

Raiders’ “Durian-harvesting tool”

For several years now, the successful bidder has been raided by drunken, armed thugs from a village several miles down the hill and, in fact, from the adjacent province.  Our attempts to seek the help of the local (Galagedera) police to either prevent these occurrences or to arrest those conducting the raids has not been successful.

The raids have been accompanied by threat and violence.  Earlier this year, the raid was a two-pronged one – 4 raiders on two motor-cycles and about a dozen drunken thugs who had come up a footpath, approaching the durian trees from a different direction.  As I documented in a previous article, there had been an altercation, one of the raiders had been hit with a stick and his motor-cycle buddies who had already left the scene of the crime had to return to rescue him.  The knife, a picture of which appears here, was picked up by one of my employees the following morning at the scene of the altercation, abandoned by one of the raiders in his hurry to leave!

While that knife is not as impressive as an African panga or a Gurkha Kukri, it could certainly inflict very serious damage on anyone at the receiving end.  While we haven’t placed it in a display case or mounted it in some prominent place, it serves as a reminder of the risks that anyone trying to earn an honest and lawful living in this country now risks.

Subsequent to the altercation which resulted in the abandonment of the knife, both I and the young lessee sought the intervention of the local police.  Succinctly put, there is little chance of preventive action being taken.  The primary reason is that the durian trees are located within the jurisdiction of a police station in the Central Province and the thieves come in from one located in the North Western Province.  One of the officers of the former police station told me, very simply, that the police with responsibility for the area in which the thieves’ village is located are hamstrung by the fact that the miscreants are part of the MP’s/Minister’s strong-arm contingent and are, therefore, immune from any form of police control! He described his colleagues in the adjoining police jurisdiction as “scarecrows” (“pambayo”)

Particularly since the young man who is again likely to be the successful bidder on the Durian tree lease has already received a stream of death threats from those he bested in the last physical confrontation, the potential for very serious violence is high, indeed.

As the lessors of the trees I expect it would be easy enough to wash our hands of the whole business with the (legalistic) response that, once the trees are leased, it becomes the responsibility of the lessee and the lessee alone to deal with any issues around the harvesting, storage and disposal of the fruit.  However, some of us still have consciences and feel obliged to try to prevent criminal violence and ensure the maintenance of the basic laws of the land.  In any democratic country, all of this would have been a “no-brainer.”  One would have visited the local police station, laid the facts, inclusive of the previous violence, on the record and the police would have simply had any potential miscreants warned by the neighbouring constabulary if those individuals lived within their jurisdiction and that would probably have taken care of that.  Here, it has already required all kinds of “contacts” being contacted and strategies being devised to prevent yet another “invasion” (or invasions) and, if that cannot be done, to seek means of self-defence of (unarmed) persons and their property by (unarmed) citizens.  Not a pretty picture and one which points very directly towards extra-judicial means of defence of person and property being the realistic alternative!

That alternative, however, is not a real option for some of us for a variety of reasons, primarily because we have been conditioned not to take the law into our hands.  However, necessity being the mother of invention, we are waiting for that proverbial “bolt from the blue” to provide us with a solution to our quandary!

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Latest comments

  • 2
    2

    I love durian.
    How good is the fruit from your tree?
    Can I have a top quality sweet and creamy one?
    kd

    • 3
      0

      Emil van der Poorten –

      “That alternative, however, is not a real option for some of us for a variety of reasons, primarily because we have been conditioned not to take the law into our hands. However, necessity being the mother of invention, we are waiting for that proverbial “bolt from the blue” to provide us with a solution to our quandary!”

      I like the taste of it, even though do not like the smell.

      One suggestion, is watch the movie Home Alone, 1 and Home Alone 2.

      Them booby trap the area near the trees, so that when the raiders come they will fall into the booby traps.

      The Booby traps could be rat traps, other animal traps etc, and it will take care of watching the location, inexpensively and 24 hrs per day. make sure you put enough notices, about the danger of entering the place.

      Home Alone 2 Funny Scenes

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eXvZXcb_oY

    • 2
      0

      I hate durian – even the smell make me feel very sick. It is called stink /smelly fruit.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDlzNIgw0X0

  • 2
    1

    Kumar David

    It is smelly and one tends to burp a lot thought to contain aphrodisiac substance and “tigers” love them.

    A Malaysian maxim goes like this “”When the durians are down, the sarongs are up.”

    • 1
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      NV,

      ”When the durians are down, the sarongs are up.”

      When the sarongs are up Leela bitch licks the lips! Flashers are here enemies!

      • 0
        0

        Could anybody please keep this low life (SILVA) under a Durian tree so that we could finally relieve, getting his punishment in a natural manner. Whereever this eunach is there, he only adds a set of harmful views that are mostly cynical.

        • 0
          0

          Pera ra, do you love Durian or the Leelayan?

        • 0
          0

          Perera,

          When did you escape from the bore-hole of Leela [Edited out] which has been continuously pounded, drilled and periled like a penera by the sarongkarayo of the roughish regime who have eaten lots and lots of stolen duriyan?

          [Edited out]

          • 3
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            Not only Leela but there are numbers that have no capacities to digest your kind of malevolent attacks. So please why not you make effort yourself to nurture you what your sperm donators are proved to have failed ? My granny´s words were, never is late. Anyways Decency comes from the background a man or woman is brought up.Latter should be clear to us all looking at the manner incumbent thugs (Rajapakshes) ruin the nation to this day. For me, Guys of your kind always with malevolent terms are also not enrichment to the society.Nor would they succeed outreaching readers; neither on CT platform nor anywhere else.

            • 0
              2

              Andrew Rodrigo,

              What the fk decency are you vomiting here? Your sperm donors seem to have injected pathola isma into your make up. We are living and talking in the context of “Political rights have been preserved by traitors….the liberty of the mind by heretics.” (TG), and day by day the country and its people are being dragged to the dog and drain by the bloody Rajapakshas. And you brat comes along and preach gihi pirith. It is clear you are the same asshole as Leela brat appearing in various fake names like Sumanasekera/banda/perera/Geantolandysus/Pratmik Barthélemy … (the fucker seems to have created a software for fake id creation!) who is doing asshole sniffing service to Rajapakshas while preaching bana to us. Get lost into the cesspit where you came from, traitorous fucker of the nation.

              PS: We know how to address decent people and you need not worry about it!

              • 3
                0

                Hey man, have a DNA check if AR is right. It is much easier than having a kitcat, boy :), much easier than laying down under a durian tree :) all jokes aside:
                Today´s techniques could take your worries that easily. No need to stay puzzeled at all. European and US TV senders help many – alike candidates to finally meet with their lovely ones going through DNA tests.

                Anyway, I love the way you go against our common enemy -Rajaburupakshe. That proves somehow your genesis could no means be started in a test tube. I m fed up of this regime – I really dont have any other comparable regimes.
                If time comes, I would even offer myself as a biological weapon -if Rajafarts would further loot the nation.

            • 0
              2

              Andrew Rodrigo,

              “..Latter should be clear to us all looking at the manner incumbent thugs (Rajapakshes) ruin the nation to this day. For me, Guys of your kind always with malevolent terms are also not enrichment to the society.Nor would they succeed outreaching readers; neither on CT platform nor anywhere else..”

              Bloody Hothambuwa, while saying above you fucker are preaching vadibana and rotating your rusted cannon flashing at the bushes. Get real and see the truth instead of hiding your ugliness with stolen robes of civility.

      • 1
        0

        Sounds as if Silva is born Durian plucker.
        Anyway his kind of thorny wording are the need of the hour waking up the masses – masses that have been blind folded by so called road development projects.
        I heard even yesterday – an undergraduate had been killed in Katunayaka highway. Had these newcomers to standard highways been adequately warned, human losses would nothave been the consequence. This is anyway Meeharakas regime (MR).

        • 1
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          Sven Perera,

          Have you tested your kitcat, and what does it say? Any reletives/likeminded found?

          What kind of a “plucker” are you?

          I like your serenity with which you offer yourself as biological weapon.

          I appreciate you as, though shyly, you follow the same path as me.

    • 0
      2

      Mr Poorten,

      This is a brilliant idea… Native Viagra …one hundred percent organic…Capsule can retain the sweetness too…

      • 1
        0

        K.A.Sumanasekera:
        If that is an attempt at “humour,” I would strongly urge you not to quit whatever your day-job is to become a professional comedian!

        • 0
          0

          Emil van der Poorten,

          “Native Viagra”! Well, there is huge business prospects and potential coupled with copulation benefits if you know or could hire the required expertise on chemistry, biochemistry and production knowledge to uncover the sarong raising secrets and elements of duriyan and “encapsulate” and market them as sex boost products. Instead of taking the pain of finding ripe and un-carbide duriyan one may simply walk into a pharmacy and buy a pleasure pill before paying a night time visit to Leela [Edited out]! Think of the commotion that would follow when Leela [Edited out], foreign income would be pouring in and the BBS would be producing the nation while still raising the kahakada robe! Hah….hah…..haaaaaaaa!

          • 3
            0

            Silva have you already contacted Pharma companies with the ideas you added to this heterogenous forum ?
            Btw – FORMER leela is now appearing as Sumanasekara/Banda/jimsofty- not being able to face him as leela anymore. I delievered also my part in chase away of leela from this forum.

            I have worked with dyes (indol containing) that are extracted from denims, jackets from severl populations in order to see the danger of cancerogenicity of them.

  • 1
    0

    “..However, necessity being the mother of invention, we are waiting for that proverbial “bolt from the blue” to provide us with a solution to our quandary!

    Yep, it is the only solution that will catalyst the social cataclysm as a reaction to Rajapaksha lawlessness and criminality. Especially in those remote jungles it is relatively easy to implement it. Like Jesus Christ nail those fuckers on to durian trees and turn them to compost to manure the trees for the next season. Or a few broken or missing limbs will be a good starting point towards self defense and creative justice. Mahaeka frequently harangue about home grown solutions to our own internal problems hence why not you people invent your own jungle grown solutions!

  • 2
    1

    Emil,

    Just being curious to know: does your wife pay a visit to her parents until durian season is over?

    Haka…haka…haka… hah haaaaa!

    • 0
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      Silva, yes,[Edited out]

    • 1
      0

      Shillva, you do really in need of a situp and a stir-up of a durian prick.

      • 0
        0

        Geantolandysus,

        But the “duriyan prick” cannot heal the agony of your starvation; you could try parking your duck mouth over an ant hole failing which situp and rotate workout several times a day on a Shivalinga could end your agony forever. You could carry home happy memories of cunt pooja from angry devotee ladies of the mosque.

        • 0
          0

          Sylvia, I didn’t expect that your experience of the rupture could morph into sweet moments of a rapture. Keep it up till you Shill get drilled like a mill for a long spell by every Jack and Bill.

          • 0
            1

            Pratmik Barthélemy,

            It is not mine but your experience that is why while having a stone fuck from the shrine you threw at me a duriyan husk to share the “rupture and prick” somiya you are addicted to!

  • 0
    0

    I was in Kandy mid may , and did partake is some excellent Durian the King of all fruit .

    Disclaimer – During the making of this movie no animals little children or women were harmed .

    • 1
      0

      If I were there, I would have thrown a durian fruit on you finally awaking from your long sleep. No secret you are obsequious to Raja clan – not seeing anything beyond.

      • 0
        0

        they are selling for over 300 rs . please throw more of them at me .

        Cheers

        Abhaya

        • 2
          0

          You’d be prickly bruised.

          • 0
            0

            What else would have been the initial motive ? Abhayas, Bandaas and the ilk should be dissapeared leaving us all peacefully.

  • 0
    0

    Mr van der Poorten: Your story alas is a common one for all those familiar with the rural scene in this blessed land. But as I understand, you should be no stranger to what are necessary norms for living on the edge. I related your story, in the vernacular, to my trusted watcher, Dave Javu, and he was puzzled by, firstly what one’s ‘conciousness’ had to do with this matter, and secondly, the misfortune of being ‘conditioned not to take the law into your hands’. After an extensive discussion on these two matters, our Dave finally declared that a smart man would simply have arranged for a series of unfortunate ‘accidents’ to take place and the judge would have no option but to insert ‘misadventure’ somewhere in his verdict and all would be well and life would go on. As always, I invited trusted Dave to share something from my flask – something to help along the milk of human kindness that courses through our veins – and after a few sips, he turned to me and said “Sir, you keep telling me that the meek shall inherit this earth, but I beg to correct you Sir; it is the smart ones who will. The smart ones who are not afraid of spilling a little blood to bring prompt justice to what is clearly unjust”. I cannot but say “cheers” to that profound native wisdom.

  • 0
    0

    Kumar and the other commentators;
    For once you’ve beaten the a..es who fill the comments section whenever something I write is published with the filth and abuse that gets past those at CT who try to maintain a level of civility on their website!
    Can’t guarantee quality of “creaminess,” Kumar but I am assured that the fruit are A-Okay!
    As for my partner’s response to the Durian season, I’m afraid that both she and I are past the stage when such things matter!
    It seems like the usual rabble, particularly the one from New South Wales that send particularly abusive SMSs have run out of their budget allocations for such purposes and are, therefore (for the moment at least) silent! I am not holding my breath in anticipation of that state of affairs continuing, though!

    • 0
      0

      Emil van der Poorten,

      These are desperate times and desperate times require desperate measures. I propose something like Association of Duriyan Farmers to be established and mobilize man and brain power and discuss issues relating to them. You can raise this this particular issue too at the forum. Available options are: go human rights including go Geneva!, establish Duriyan, owners and lessee protection squad armed with hidden but ready to wield anything capable inflicting terminal blows to those political thugs and thieves, establish a communication network to alert the members and villagers about thug intrusions and mobilize the hit squads and finally attack them mercilessly and retain few limbs for trophy and dog feed. Oh! by the way, rear a few cannibal dogs and they will do it for you, no questions asked, money back guarantee!

  • 0
    0

    Looks like even a Durian Drip wouldn’t help Poortens according to his own admission.

    On the other hand our Muslim brothers in the villages love the stuff.

    And and it is showing remarkable results with our Vellalas now the verge of getting pushed in to the second spot.

    With the current ban on Diaspora dudes, there is no sign of a come back, without some drastic measures.

    Can Durian do it?.

    Mr Poorten already has a dual,

    May be TNA Prema who pleaded with the Govt to give duals to the Diasporians who want to invest not only in the North but in the South too, can use those funds through Mr Poorten who seems to be well a seasoned Durian farmer.

    • 2
      0

      K.A Sumanasekera

      “Mr Poorten who seems to be well a seasoned Durian farmer.”

      Even at this age when he says “I’m afraid that both she and I are past the stage when such things matter!” Emil van der Poorten is an enterprising durian growing planter whereas you chaps are idling away your precious time living off stolen properties.

      The way things are, my worry is that you might consider taking up mugging. Don’t get caught. Beware most people are now armed. Durian cannot help you when you don’t have b***s.

    • 1
      0

      “On the other hand our Muslim brothers in the villages love the stuff.

      And and it is showing remarkable results with our Vellalas now the verge of getting pushed in to the second spot.”

      ——-

      Don Juan, while you are being a spayed Sinhala boor what’s with Durian, with your limpy Sinhala spine a zingy lovemaking is but a matter of fate with your own hands.

  • 0
    0

    Dear Native,.

    You seem pretty much up to speed with the aphrodisiac side of Durian juice,

    But there are no records of our Mahiyangana or Dambana Aththo using it although they had other remedies to keep the blood pumping.

    May be your exile in Malaysia must have brought you in contact with those Malays with their sarongs up, when the Durians were down.

  • 1
    0

    Not a pretty picture and one which points very directly towards extra-judicial means of defence of person and property being the realistic alternative!

    I’d love to catch the culprits and make a “sit unto death” on top of the durians, else if survived it could learn them a little bit of braille in caressing their backs.

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