By Yudhanjaya Wijeratne –
I’ve had a fantastic time reading all that’s being written about Daham Sirisena. The Big D, as I now think of him, is a fantastic creature. I mean, who wouldn’t want a walking, talking, Facebook-ing PR nightmare for a son, am I right?
Let’s assume for a moment that Maithripala Sirisena actually reads this blog (hah! Fat chance). Mr Sirisena, here’s a question for you:
Are you stupid?
Look at him.
Just look at him.
This is Daham Sirisena, Public Figure.
His crowning achievements in life? 48,000 likes on Facebook, shaking hands with Narendra Modi, being the Lucky Sperm and sporadically waving a gun in someone’s face. By all the gods, is that what it takes to get into the UN? If so, hold my beer. I got this.
Look, Mr. Sirisena. A whole bunch of us voted you in; a whole bunch of us didn’t. Those who did vote for you voted not because of your heritage or your spectacles or your (disturbingly) cheery face in press photos, but because we were bloody tired of the Rajapaksa clan. You presented a much saner vision of government. You got the job.
But let’s get one thing clear: we voted for you, not for the Sirisena version of the Rajapaksa dynasty. This isn’t even the first time. We were perfectly alright with brushing off your daughter’s media tour. (Oh wait, we weren’t, but Maharaja’s media network was perfectly alright with slowly *cough* making those videos disappear from their channels.)
But I digress. Your son is not a world leader – not yet. No-one’s voted for him. Maybe he will be, in time, but that’s in the future. Right now, he’s a gormless 22-year old so stupid that he typed in the dictionary definition of nepotism and then argued against it and ended up pleading not to be placed in the same category as Namal Rajapaksa and Co.
Namal must have laughed his ass off after seeing that. Heck, Tutankhamun’s corpse probably sat up in the darkness and winced. Let me remind you that Namal was an actual, elected Member of Parliament. Even with all the horseplay and the rugger nonsense and the lawyering he still had more legitimacy than Daham Sirisena.
Like it or not, Daham, at best, is a nonentity with a Facebook page. At worst he’s part of a breed of circlejerk activists whose sole purpose in life seems to be self-promotion. Even so, he’s hardly the choice of weapon for the UN: Colombo is host to seasoned, professional #activists who do this day in and day out. They’ve got skills Daham wouldn’t even dream of – including, but not limited to knowing how to construct a logical argument on Facebook. If you need a useless wanker, please send one of them the next time.
If you do want to take the guy around, fine; just don’t make him part and parcel of the whole bloody media kit. Don’t take him on the official tour. Don’t have him sit behind the board saying “SRI LANKA” in front of the whole world. If that’s what he wants, lock him up in his room and throw away the key. Plenty of world leaders have children. They manage them just fine.
It’s about time, Mr. Sirisena, that you put the brakes on this farce. It didn’t work out for your predecessor: it’s not going to work out for you.
*Yudhanjaya Wijeratne is a contributor to Colombo Telegraph, his articles can be found on his blog, icaruswept.com