Colombo Telegraph

More questions In The Aftermath Of The Easter Sunday Carnage: Following The Socratic Method Of Inquiry, Albeit In A Lighter Vein

By K. Ganesh

More questions in the Aftermath of the Easter Sunday Carnage – following the Socratic Method of inquiry, albeit in a lighter vein

1. How many foreign intelligence agencies does it take to screw on a light bulb?

8 and counting; so far: P3 – FBI, Scotland Yard, Interpol for sure;  Aussie Intel, RAW and IB, absolutely, Japanese (QUAD) Intel, maybe, China (an injured party, indeed, and very likely Israel’s MOSSAD experts who after all are well versed on terror in Palestine, Mr. Putin’s KGB who would definitely want a piece of the action, perhaps, and of course, Singapore Expert– Mr. Inside Al Quaid himself, the redoubtable Professor of terror, Rohan Gunaratne of NTU who has demonstrated links to the US military business industrial complex, weapons manufacturers, and the murky world of CIA and IS terror intelligence.

1.1 There were 9 suicide bombers, so perhaps what’s needed are nine intelligence agencies: One for each bomber in the Easter carnage? 

After all primitive thinking cleaves to in magical thinking and numbers games (like for instance, the Buddha took 7 steps when he was born, and 7 lotus flowers bloomed) Now, various intelligence agencies are in Sri Lanka to craft the ”narrative” that the “IS Caliphate has landed”, Hollywood style, in this tropical island paradise, because, Islamic State Kingpin Al Baghdadi, got tired of desert sands and mountains, and wanted to take a Deep Dive in the Indian Ocean, correction, the recently invented ocean called the AMERICAN INDO-PACIFIC. It seems that no one has heard that TOO MANY COOKS, SPOIL THE SOUP?!

2. Why has Islamic State chosen in a 70 percent Buddhist, Tropical Island in the Indian Ocean to deliver a strong message to the West and Christians?

Now, it seems that IS head honcho, Al Baghdadi, tired of dessert sands and mountains may have got some “Maritime domain awareness” lessons from US Ambassador in Sri Lanka and other CIA and FBI operatives, to discover his latent interest in tropical islands, marine affairs, and deep dives in the ‘Indo-Pacific.’

The fantastic narrative now being crafted – based on pure alternative facts promoted by the Singapore Security Xpert is that: the IS Caliphate has proclaimed that now “South Asia is an IS Province”. Moreover, 70 percent Buddhist, (with 20 percent Hindus and Christians), Si Lanka, has been specially chosen as the ideal location for the new IS South Asia Provincial capital, with the re-constructed Ocean-front Chinese owed Shangri la five star hotel set to be named the Islamic Caliphate’s new Headquarters.  

3. Do Monotheists hate polytheists and atheists? 

It is reliably learned from our own redoubtable Singapore expert (shades of Arjuna Mahendran?) on IS narratives that Al Baghdadi hates multi-religious and multi-ethnic countries in general, and Sri Lanka in particular given its complicated multi-ethnic and multi-religious cultural mosaic and confused citizens, who are too hybrid, mixed, and hence messed up (both confused and confusing), and hence a massive Security Threat to monotheists and mono-theism. Also, there are those horrible apostate Sufi cults spread across the island, including whirring dervishes, that are doubly galling and to be eliminated.

4. When America invents a new Ocean, and Islamic State a new Province there may be trouble around the corner?

These narratives about new provinces and oceans are of course to entertain, distract and scare the shit out of traumatized Lankans who have presumably suspended disbelief, and abdicated ALL their critical thinking faculties at this time of national tragedy, so that  FBI and related Singaporean Xperts and SPIN doctors can craft a narrative to feed the petrified and hence doubly gullible natives of Banana Republic beset with a squabbling Prime Minister and President and a Cabinet of thieves– just as the Chagos Islanders, 60 years ago were terrified when US marines gassed their dogs and forcibly drove the Chogossians out of their Indian Ocean island home when the infamous Diego Garcia military base and CIA Black Site, now being green washed into a Marine Reserve in the Indian Ocean, was being set up.

5. How do you white-wash a CIA Black Site called Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean? You Green Wash it!

Since the UN’s highest court, the International Court of Justice (ICJ) ruling that Chagos Islands must be de-colonized by United Kingdom and returned to Mauritius in February this year,  the sole purpose of the continued existence of Diego Garcia military base, the largest outside the US mainland, will be to protect Indian Ocean crustaceans after everyone has signed the Convention of Trade in Endangered Species of Fauna and Flora (CITES), also known as the Washington Convention in Colombo, come May 2019.

6. Marginalization of national expertise? Forget Foucault and the Cold War in the Indian Ocean

Sri Lankan experts, one and all, have been marginalized with the landing of the IS Caliphate in Paradise Lost, with droves of  random Intel and media experts to craft the narrative, amidst the tug o war between the puppet Prime Minister and the farmer President.  But, so, it is time that local and national Sri Lankan Intellects, I/NGO innocents, and experts get cracking with favorite geopolitical fantasies to explain and find motive for our Easter carnage. After all, anyone, including FBI, can set up a website and claim responsibility for the Easter Carnage now that WikiLeaks is down and Julian Asange safely locked up in UK… 

7. ‘Carrots and sticks’ to set up a military base in the Indian Ocean?

First you bomb the recalcitrant natives into submission and then the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC), after fiddling around for 4 years drafting the puppet Prime Minister’s economic and security policies, and a (COMPACT for god knows what), comes along with a (fake) goodies bag (480 million blood $$$), to turn Lanka into a global transport and energy Hub aka. Military base to fight IS and prevent IS head honcho Al Bagdhadi divining in the Indian Ocean. Of course, Millennium Airlines Sri Lanka tours are already flying the friendly skies of Banana Republic that also launched a satellite called Raavan 1, with other defense contractors such as IWS Aviation , and so Lanka will soon be a tourist paradise again after the MCC has been granted all the lands it needs and access to all the data platforms it needs for turning Lanka into a global terrorism logistics hub. All this will of course enable protecting the global internets’ crucial Undersea Data Cables (UDCs), that strategic Lanka sits on.

To be continued.

Related posts:

Some Questions On The Easter Sunday Attack In Sri Lanka & The Aftermath

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