{"id":118561,"date":"2014-01-19T04:42:44","date_gmt":"2014-01-18T23:12:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/?p=118561"},"modified":"2014-01-26T00:28:44","modified_gmt":"2014-01-25T18:58:44","slug":"father-rayappu-joseph-confesses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/father-rayappu-joseph-confesses\/","title":{"rendered":"Father Rayappu Joseph Confesses"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Malinda Seneviratne<\/a><\/span>\u00a0–<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Malinda<\/a>

Malinda Seneviratne<\/p><\/div>\n

[In a parallel universe of course…]<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lord, let me start with a disclaimer.\u00a0\u00a0I am frail, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s because I am human, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0I falter, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0That too because I am human, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0I err, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s human too, M\u2019Lord.\u00a0\u00a0M\u2019Lord, I am blinded by ignorance and arrogance and this myopic condition is further aggravated by my prejudices; I am human.<\/p>\n

I was ordained a priest in 1967 at the age of 27.\u00a0\u00a0I was appointed Bishop of Manner in 1992.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ve seen a lot in my life and in my ministry.\u00a0\u00a0There was a lot that I saw and there\u2019s a lot that I described.\u00a0\u00a0And yet, Lord, there was much more that I was silent about.<\/p>\n

Lord, you see all, you hear all.\u00a0\u00a0You even hear our silences.\u00a0\u00a0You notice our frailties and the error of our choices.\u00a0\u00a0I know it is not mine to question and I ought to know that I am being tested.\u00a0\u00a0But Lord, I forget.\u00a0\u00a0I slip.<\/p>\n

In my anger, ignorance and arrogance I forgot that we are all your children, that is myself, my congregation, those who share my faith and ethnic identity as well as those who don\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0They are your children too, those that people I call \u2018friends\u2019 call \u2018enemy\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0I judge when that\u2019s what you have to do.<\/p>\n

Forgive me Lord for my presumptions.<\/p>\n

I have borne false witness, Lord.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ve lied about my neighbor. Indeed I\u2019ve lied about my friends.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ve employed rhetoric and half-truths to cover up for their crimes.\u00a0\u00a0I should call those who fish, fishermen; I should call those who are harmless, lambs; I should call those who hack children and pregnant mothers to death, butchers.\u00a0\u00a0I have not, Lord, and that\u2019s because I chose to focus on the crimes, perceived or real, perpetrated by \u2018others\u2019. I forgot Lord that in your Kingdom there are no \u2018others\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0I forgot Lord that charity begins at home.\u00a0\u00a0Forgive me, Lord.<\/p>\n

I know about abductions of children and conscription of same for military purposes. I did not name the abductors \u2018child-snatchers\u2019 and I did not point them out either. I did not object.\u00a0\u00a0I know that some 300,000 civilians were corralled into restricted spaces and used as a human shield. I never once called them \u2018hostages\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0Instead Lord I poured invective on those who eventually rescued these innocents at great cost too.\u00a0\u00a0Those whom I deliberately misnamed \u2018boys\u2019 shot those who tried to flee and even sent little children with explosives tied to their person so they could explode at points where the fleeing were received.\u00a0\u00a0I did not object.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I did not even admit to myself that these were acts that you Lord would abhor.\u00a0\u00a0Forgive me, Lord.<\/p>\n

I knew all along Lord that the Government, INGOs, UN Agencies and diplomats of powerful nations worked tirelessly to get food, medicine and other essential supplies to the people held hostage.\u00a0\u00a0I know that if there was any intention of killing civilians, the Government need not have bothered to do all this.\u00a0\u00a0I know that the \u2018boys\u2019 pilfered these supplies and starved those in whose name they claimed to be fighting.\u00a0\u00a0I didn\u2019t utter a word of objection. Forgive me, Lord.<\/p>\n

I know that over 11,000 \u2018boys\u2019 were released by the security forces. I know that this is unprecedented. You know Lord that the United States of America and other countries raising concern about how the Sri Lankan security forces operated during the war would never even entertain the thought of releasing prisoners.\u00a0\u00a0I have not had the grace to acknowledge all this; I\u2019ve not had the humility to acknowledge error. Forgive me, Lord.<\/p>\n

I lied about the numbers, Lord.\u00a0\u00a0You know.\u00a0\u00a0I need not elaborate.<\/p>\n

I have not forgiven those who I claimed were trespassing even when they were not, but forgive my trespasses Lord.\u00a0\u00a0Empower me Lord with that which I lack, make tender that which anger has made hard within me, hone me Lord more closer to your image, give me the humility of your Son, grant me the strength to submit to your Commandments, receive me again and again with your incomparable love.\u00a0\u00a0Forgive me, again and again, so I could also learn to forgive, to forgive myself.<\/p>\n

*Malinda Seneviratne is the Chief Editor of \u2018The Nation\u2019\u00a0and his articles can be found at\u00a0www.malindawords.blogspot.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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