{"id":221464,"date":"2021-08-08T12:50:09","date_gmt":"2021-08-08T07:20:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/?p=221464"},"modified":"2021-08-13T11:35:31","modified_gmt":"2021-08-13T06:05:31","slug":"why-more-than-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/why-more-than-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Why More Than One?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Suha Cassim –<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Suha Cassim<\/p><\/div>\n

There is a debate about the \u201cnefarious effects\u201d of Polygyny.. but the <\/span> debate is not within the community rather it is imposed on us. <\/span> Often, our society weigh in on many social issues..prostitution, gay <\/span> marriage, capital punishment, unfaithfulness in relationships or <\/span> some other social issues. My aim is to enlighten the reader on the<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>reasons that it Polygyny is allowed in Islam. <\/span>Those opposing Polygyny\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>do not represent the majority of the Muslim population in Sri Lanka. <\/span> Polygyny is the most common and accepted form of Polygamy, entailing <\/span> the marriage of a man with several women but Islam restricts that to 4<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>wives and with strict conditions; and in this country Polygyny is practised <\/span> by a very small percentage of the Muslim population. But it is allowed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Benefits<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Allah is the All Wise who has has sent down the Quran and chosen His<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Messenger to guide us – who are we to even think of changing Allah\u2019s <\/span> laws? (Thashkheer is to put aside our intellect and our logic when it<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>comes to the obedience of ALLAH swt and the sunnah of Rasoolulah sal.) <\/span> Our duty is to teach and reform faulty human behaviour and not change <\/span> Divine Law. The basic requirement of a believer is to obey ALLAH and His <\/span> Messenger; solutions to any eventual issues are to be found in the Quran <\/span> and Sunnah.<\/span><\/p>\n

The practice of polygyny gives that man who has not been granted <\/span> children, a reason not to divorce his first wife. Ageing wives can <\/span> therefore retain the dignity of the married estate and remain with her <\/span> husband and the family they love.<\/span><\/p>\n

A wife who does not feel like intimacy due to pregnancy or childbirth or <\/span> menopause, will not be under pressure since he will have other perfectly <\/span> acceptable options within the marriage. Also, if the husband and wife<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>collectively decide that the man should take on a second wife because <\/span> the first wife is unable to bear children, what objections can any critic lay <\/span><\/p>\n

on them? What moral authority do they have over any husband and wife <\/span> who have decided their own collective happiness? No critic should raise <\/span> questions from any presumed role of a moral high ground. <\/span><\/p>\n

The importance our laws place on marriages contracted only between <\/span> two people, tempts us to think that monogamy is the natural human <\/span> state. The reality could not be further from the truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

Scientific research has verified while monogamy is the expected societal <\/span> norm, it is relatively unusual against the back drop of human history.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Only 20% of the societies sampled, considered monogamous unions to <\/span> be normal and desirable. <\/span><\/p>\n

In Western countries, that ban Polygyny, LGBTQ marriages are legalised, <\/span> recognized and protected by law. There does not even seem to be an <\/span> argument then, to limit polygynous marriages..<\/span><\/p>\n

Why did Gay men and women fight for the right to be married? In the <\/span> main it was economics. Like Polygynous marriages, it provides partners <\/span> with certain automatic legal protection that include inheritance, pension <\/span> rights, hospital visitation rights, custody rights, access to family <\/span> insurance and many more. <\/span><\/p>\n

Polygynous marriages extend these protections automatically to all <\/span> spouses within a marriage, regardless of their position in the family. <\/span> So long as one can support multiple wives and children from them, then<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>it’s probably the preferable legal position (rather than satisfying desires <\/span> with illicit relationships that have terrifying life long consequences). <\/span> Questions of jealousy, desire, and so forth, are important from a<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>subjective perspective, but irrelevant from a legal evaluation of the <\/span> issue. <\/span><\/p>\n

Michael Price’s hypothesis that monogamy supports co-operation and, as <\/span> a result, has spread from the West to other regions was tested by using <\/span> five measures of societal success against 156 contemporary nation states, of which 84 are monogamous and 72 are polygamous. Among <\/span> other conclusions, \u201cPrice found that 64% of monogamous societies only <\/span> 25% of polygamous societies had liberal democracies.” But not all <\/span> monogamy is politically imposed, as evinced by its existence among <\/span> small-scale band and tribal societies. \u201cEcologically imposed monogamy” <\/span> arises when men lack the resources needed to support multiple wives ..<\/span><\/p>\n

(Sanderson 2001: 333).<\/span><\/p>\n

The intended change in the law banning Polygyny in Sri Lanka is firstly a<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>total infringement of our fundamental and religious rights. No <\/span> Government has the right to change our personal Muslim laws and<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>injunctions given in our religious scripture and are already in place. This <\/span> will bring social changes that will give rise to serial monogamy – i.e. <\/span> people who marry and divorce multiple times. It will change the social<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>structure and construct that is Divine. For the man who wants a new <\/span> relationship he will simply divorce his wife and avoid any economic <\/span> obligation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Essentially serial monogamists \u2018use the law to gain the benefits of a <\/span> polygynous relationship\u2019 without being subject to the restrictions and <\/span> duties of marriage, including escaping what should be lifelong<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>commitments to the children they have with their disposable spouses. <\/span><\/p>\n

On the flip side the Polygynists are criminalised for wanting to take <\/span> lifelong responsibility for the wives they have loved and the children they <\/span> have created, while serial monogamists are permitted to celebrate<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>wedding after wedding, discarding their previous relationships on the <\/span> scrapheap of life. While divorce is now an accepted part of our life and<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>the world over, up to 50% of first marriages end before the death of a <\/span> spouse and often failure rates are high for subsequent marriages. It is <\/span> quite right that the stigma that used to surround divorcees and their <\/span> children has disappeared but it leaves us, with an unpalatable situation <\/span> where society sees nothing wrong with the serial monogamists!<\/span><\/p>\n

As a nation that has accepted divorce, or living together without <\/span> marriage, turning a blind eye to the LGBTQ groups although such <\/span> relationships are illegal in Sri Lanka, it stands to reason that there is no <\/span> longer any reason or any excuse to continue to victimize the Muslims <\/span> and their Divine law.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are four objectives given in the Quran for marriage: <\/span> Protection against physical, moral and spiritual ailments, continuation of <\/span> human life, companionship and peace of mind, Growth of relations of <\/span> love and compassion.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, <\/span>Allah The Most High, has explicitly mentioned in the Quran in\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Sura Nisa: verse 3: <\/span>\u201cAnd if you fear that you will not deal justly with the <\/span> orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] <\/span> one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you <\/span> may not incline [to injustice]. (3)\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Monogamous or polygynous, the objective of marriage in Islam remains <\/span> the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Islam gave women rights which were not dreamt of, by the rest of<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>the world, when humanity was in total darkness. It ensured the <\/span> protection of the female, be it wife, mother, daughter or sister. While <\/span> there are behaviours whose value judgements hold no place in decent <\/span> society and cannot be condoned or supported by the Muslim community <\/span> in Sri Lanka, this does not give any credence or necessity to abolish and <\/span> modify, simply an allowance, a tolerance that has been permitted but <\/span> with strict conditions in the Quran and explained clearly by our beloved <\/span> Prophet sal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally and the most important fact is that we are forbidden to make any <\/span> changes to the Quran which is the Divine Word of God.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a believing Muslim, I am working for my hereafter. And we are not<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>alone in that.. As such we have to ensure that God’s words, His <\/span> Commands and Prohibitions are not jettisoned for the sake imported <\/span> customs.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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