{"id":67912,"date":"2013-01-05T19:10:48","date_gmt":"2013-01-05T19:10:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/?p=67912"},"modified":"2013-01-12T22:35:14","modified_gmt":"2013-01-12T22:35:14","slug":"who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Wants Enemies With Friends Like These!"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Emil van der Poorten<\/a><\/span>\u00a0–<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Emil van der Poorten<\/p><\/div>\n

Something I\u2019ve wrestled with since my return to Sri Lanka is the matter of whether one should, in any way, associate with those who have continuing and productive relationships with the most corrupt and repressive regime in the history of this country.<\/p>\n

When I came back in January of the year following the Tsunami, I was taken down south by an old family friend who, I discovered, was a veritable confidant of President Chandrika Kumaratunga<\/a><\/span>.\u00a0 We ended up in close physical proximity to the current President during a series of events on the day when the foundation stone for the (re-located) new town of Hambantota<\/a><\/span> was laid.\u00a0 My friend, in fact, had occasion to follow Mahinda Rajapaksa<\/a><\/span> to the venues of a couple of meetings in order to meet him and secure his active support for a charitable venture dealing with the post-Tsunami needs of people of that area.\u00a0 Needless to say, I tagged along out of curiosity and because I had no other choice.<\/p>\n

Avowals of \u201cindependence\u201d notwithstanding, I have found this friend to be one of several of my longtime buddies (from another Sri Lankan life) who appear to have surrendered any pretence to the principles of fairness, social justice etc. with which we (and our parents) were brought up in favour of a mess of pottage, all in the name of \u201cpragmatism,\u201d a term which received respectability during the Kennedy years and which \u00a0is used most freely by those who are blatantly opportunistic and unprincipled in their conduct.<\/p>\n

The narrative of this friendship and several like it, serves as something of a parable for those of us brought up with a social conscience in Sri Lanka\u2019s most troubled times.\u00a0 How does one deal with personal friendships when one party in that relationship is in bed with those whom one does not merely disagree with but who are beyond the pale in the matter of simple decent conduct or ethical behavior?\u00a0 I\u2019ve trotted out the old saw, \u201cTell me who your friends are and I\u2019ll tell you who you are\u201d more times than I (or you dear reader, perhaps) care to remember.\u00a0 However, one more time when it is appropriate won\u2019t hurt!<\/p>\n

The usual response of those confronted with the disparity between their preached standards and those practiced where they are complicit by association with those guilty of monumentally undemocratic practices is something to the effect that \u201cthe world is not a perfect place\u201d and the old Sri Lankan stand-by excuse for the monstrous behaviour of those whom they cultivate: \u201cthe Idi Amins\/Dubya Bushs, Adolf Hitlers etc. etc (interchangeable!) did it first,\u201d referring to the conduct of historically brutal and undemocratic regimes. \u00a0I have previously referred to this \u201cthey did it first\u201d argument being advanced by those seeking to justify unacceptable behaviour by asking whether performing genocide and other unspeakable crimes is okay just because Adolf Hitler<\/a><\/span> or King Leopold of Belgium did it first.\u00a0 Suffice it to say that I will not hesitate to revert to this response, ad infinitum, because some facts not only bear repetition but need to be used as cudgels with which to hit apologists for dictatorial practice over the head!<\/p>\n

There are two major sources of irritation in the matter of the behavior of my friends, some of them already relegated to the \u201cerstwhile\u201d category.\u00a0 One of these is the blatant dishonesty of the arguments they advance and the other is the fact that they are, in fact, \u00a0complicit in the terrible things are being done in this country in the name of \u201cdevelopment, rehabilitation\u201d etc. etc. by virtue of their countenancing such conduct.<\/p>\n

How does one discard these friendships?<\/p>\n

Admittedly, with a significant degree of difficulty!\u00a0 After all you don\u2019t drop friendships and associations that have endured over decades in the blinking of an eye.\u00a0 At best, such a severing of bonds is painful and requires wrestling with one\u2019s own conscience and very personal feelings.\u00a0 However, not to sever such friendships after one has determined that there is a chasm between you and them in the matter of fundamental beliefs, principles and conduct is patently dishonest.\u00a0 If you choose to sleep in that kennel you\u2019d better be ready to wake up with fleas (or worse, much worse.)<\/p>\n

One might also attempt to engage in the very slow and tedious process of trying to convince your\u00a0friend(s) of the need to return to the \u201cstraight and narrow\u201d of ethical and moral conduct.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen this approach succeed in other circumstances, but not very often! However, as much as this might seem like tilting at windmills, if you value a friendship, it might constitute an appropriate use of time and effort.\u00a0 There is also the risk one takes in such an endeavour that, in trying to save a drowning person when you don\u2019t have the skills, training and tenacity to do so, you might well drown yourself!<\/p>\n

The final option is to \u201cfreeze out\u201d any friends who have strayed seriously from the accepted path that was mutually agreed on over the years.\u00a0 This, too, is more easily said than done but it does provide the potential for a gentler \u201cdivorce.\u201d<\/p>\n

In any event, if you are faced with the dilemma I have just described, I can only wish you more luck than I\u2019ve had in my efforts to untangle or cut this particular Gordian Knot!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":49743,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-67912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-colombotelegraph","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\nWho Wants Enemies With Friends Like These! - Colombo Telegraph<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Who Wants Enemies With Friends Like These! - Colombo Telegraph\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[…]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Colombo Telegraph\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-01-05T19:10:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-01-12T22:35:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/Emil-V-P.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"336\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"402\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"COLOMBO TELEGRAPH\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"COLOMBO TELEGRAPH\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/who-wants-enemies-with-friends-like-these\/\",\"name\":\"Who Wants Enemies With Friends Like These! 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