{"id":94370,"date":"2013-07-07T00:02:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-06T18:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/?p=94370"},"modified":"2013-07-11T00:59:33","modified_gmt":"2013-07-10T19:29:33","slug":"the-first-white-van","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/the-first-white-van\/","title":{"rendered":"The First White Van!"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Emil van der Poorten<\/a><\/span>\u00a0–<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Emil van der Poorten<\/p><\/div>\n

Whatever is said about life around these parts, \u201cdull\u201d and \u201cmundane\u201d would not be adjectives that one would apply to our existences!<\/p>\n

A couple of weeks ago, we had a helicopter \u201cbuzz\u201d our home.\u00a0 Now, considering we are not even on a flight path of some crop-dusting aircraft, that was a bit of a thrill, even though it was something disconcerting enough that we would far rather have done without the rolling thunder that came close to touching our roof and then disappeared by the time we had gathered our wits and come out to see what the hell all the noise was about!<\/p>\n

Then a few afternoons ago we had our most recent bit of excitement at the time when, in my efforts not to have an afternoon nap and thereby try to sleep through the 4:00 am wake-up call to prayer from a neighbouring mosque and its peacefully co-existing Buddhist temple, I was rattling away the afternoon at my laptop keyboard.<\/p>\n

About mid-afternoon, I thought I heard a vehicle pull into our front yard and my suspicions were confirmed when I left my office space and walked on to the balcony which overlooks our \u201cmidula.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 My worst fears were not<\/strong> confirmed when I saw a work-saree-clad woman and a man in a tie disembark from a white van which the driver then proceeded to park (in very un-Sri Lankan style) so that it wouldn\u2019t obstruct another vehicle seeking to reach us and would be ready for a quick getaway as well, it seemed.<\/p>\n

The colour of the vehicle notwithstanding, I didn\u2019t think that potential abductors would consist of saree-clad females and males with ties around their necks, so I was somewhat relieved at what I observed.\u00a0 However, I subsequently learned that \u201cthe better half\u201d and the domestic help were most perturbed by the thought that I was to enjoy my next ride in a motor vehicle the likes of which are synonymous with \u201cdisappearances.\u201d\u00a0 The fact that it was broad daylight, I learned, did not in any way assuage their fears because they believed that, like the proverbial \u201cMountie,\u201d those who rode around in white vans always \u201cgot their man,\u201d irrespective of what time it was and who was doing the \u201cgetting,\u201d with or without a necktie and with or without female assistance!<\/p>\n

Does \u201cO Tempora, o mores\u201d come to mind in the circumstances, apropos the state of Sri Lankan civilization and the prevailing climate with regard to that mythical (in Sri Lankan circumstances) \u201cRule of Law?\u201d<\/p>\n

In any event, it transpired that I was victim of a lesser plot in that I was accused of not paying those who worked for me and, if\/when I did, it was sans contributions to such statutory benefits as the Employees\u2019 Trust and Provident Funds (ETF & EPF).<\/p>\n

I found this allegation particularly fascinating when I knew for a certainty that none of the adjoining \u201cestates,\u201d except one, was even paying minimum wage and the one who did required prodding from the Department of Labour to remit to the Central Bank the EPF and ETF deductions he had collected from his employees each month together with his own contribution!<\/p>\n

Even more fascinating is the case of the head of a very large chain of retail clothing stores who runs a \u201cMeditation Centre\u201d operation and pays those who work on his project in basic foodstuffs.\u00a0 Each month, each family is \u201cgifted\u201d rice, dhal, sugar and flour as payment for the work they do.\u00a0 I was quite fascinated by this arrangement which appeared reminiscent of the \u201carrangements\u201d in the cotton plantations of the Deep South of the USA before the civil war. \u00a0Perhaps, what was needed in our part of the world was not visits to the likes of me by senior functionaries of the Department of Labour, but an Abraham Lincoln to take out of serfdom some citizens of Sri Lanka living in abject poverty around here.<\/p>\n

In terms of unorthodox \u201cpayment arrangements,\u201d another I\u2019ve encountered is a \u201ccrop sharing\u201d set-up where a rubber tapper shares the latex he harvests with the owner of the trees who processes the tapper\u2019s share into Ribbed Smoke Sheet, charging the tapper for the processing as well.\u00a0 The entire calculation in this arrangement is made unilaterally by the owner of the rubber trees.\u00a0 This arrangement seemed eerily similar to the mediaeval \u201cAnde\u201d <\/em>arrangements that prevailed in paddy cultivation before Philip Gunewardene brought in the landmark reforms of his Paddy Lands Act in the late 1950\u2019s or early 1960s.\u00a0 Maybe this \u201cshare-cropping\u201d is \u201cprogress\u201d compared to payment in foodstuffs in the arrangement described earlier, reminiscent of the days of John Brown!<\/p>\n

But, back to the narrative.<\/p>\n

In fairness to the senior labour department official and his clerical help, it must be said that they conducted themselves in a completely professional manner and seemed to arrive at the conclusion that the land that I was seeking to rehabilitate with a \u201cpaying guest\u201d operation and with crops exotic to the plantation sector in this part of the country, hardly qualified as a \u201crubber estate.\u201d<\/p>\n

I provided them with the records we maintain for EPF and ETF purposes and the attendance register from which those returns are derived.\u00a0 I also pointed out that it has been an ongoing chore to keep correcting the EPF forms we get from that department, with numbers switched between employees from one month to the next, something that, if not corrected immediately, causes tremendous problems when the contributor tries to collect their money on retirement.\u00a0 To my complaint that one particular individual had had particularly great hardship in her efforts to retrieve her EPF contributions, the official volunteered to try and sort out the confusion if I would send her to his office again with a note of introduction, explaining the circumstances.\u00a0 This I promised to do in a final effort to cut through the red tape that this woman and another retired worker have encountered in their efforts to retrieve that which they have contributed over many years by, literally, the sweat of their brow.<\/p>\n

I was also to send on our employment records to the Labour Department office where they would be further verified and corrective action, if any, indicated to us.\u00a0 I must emphasize that my experience of this piece of labour administration has been nothing but positive up to now and both this current Assistant Commissioner of Labour and his predecessor have been nothing but competent and courteous at all times, a very pleasant exception to the jumped-up jackasses that seem to occupy so many positions of importance thanks to their political affiliations!<\/p>\n

In a \u201cgood news, bad news\u201d scenario, one could well charge to the \u201cgood news\u201d end of the ledger the fact that two retired workers may now get back what they and their employer have contributed over their working lives and been used as collateral by the state, \u201clo these many years,\u201d as the expression has it.\u00a0 The \u201cbad news\u201d would certainly be the extreme consternation caused to those around me with an unannounced \u201cwhite van\u201d pulling into our compound not so long after an incident of what seems suspiciously like \u201chelicopter intimidation!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":93580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,46,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-94370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-colombotelegraph","category-constitutional-reforms","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\nThe First White Van! - Colombo Telegraph<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/the-first-white-van\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The First White Van! - Colombo Telegraph\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[…]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/the-first-white-van\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Colombo Telegraph\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-07-06T18:32:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-07-10T19:29:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Emil.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"356\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"433\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"COLOMBO TELEGRAPH\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"COLOMBO TELEGRAPH\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/the-first-white-van\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.colombotelegraph.com\/index.php\/the-first-white-van\/\",\"name\":\"The First White Van! 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