By Ashanthi Ekanayake –

Ashanthi Ekanayake

Recently while scrolling on social media, I came across a Facebook reel in which toxic masculinity as pertaining to the workplace is being discussed by a prominent physician and general practitioner who is also a counsellor it appears. Speaking on the broad topic of Men’s Mental Health and Toxic Masculinity he airs a few questionable opinions about males in leadership positions.

In his esteemed opinion men bosses, he believes there are more men bosses in any case, should be “sara.” How backward, feudal and lacking in perspective we are. Gender roles are also discussed in this a questionable manner and this “sara boss” is an ideal one is supposed to aspire to. He states glibly that “female working people” want bosses to be “sarai.” So professional women like their men bosses to ride rough shod over them?  Is he then in fact saying that a boss or a person in a management position should be abusive to be able to get the best from your workers?

Thus it appears that for a boss to be considered a good leader he is encouraged to be “sarai.” This Sinhalese word generally denotes meanness, unapproachability and even extreme authoritativeness. A “sara teacher” will cane students etc. How would a “sara boss” show he is sarai? These words and attitudes and behavior smack of abuse and harassment. Do employees produce their best work when they are bullied and abused? An alarming form of extreme sexism and double standards emerges from this discussion. However, my purpose is not to criticize the backward notions of some but to examine the troubling aspects of abuse of power which can be observed in the corporate and academic settings in Sri Lanka.

A “boss” is someone who is in a powerful position in a corporate or academic setting. In this case the speakers involved have accepted it as given that men deserve and they are the majority in such positions. Having worked in the hospitality industry briefly and also the insurance industry, again thankfully briefly, my main experience comes from the academic sector. I have to agree with the gentlemen here that my experience was that many men indeed were in the more powerful position and they almost always displayed toxic traits and abused the power invested in them as managers/leaders/head of departments etc.

The “sara bosses” in my experience are those who are unable to direct those who work under them to produce their best work. They are unable to articulate what needs to be done and how it must be done and that ineffectuality and powerlessness (impotence if I may) make them lose their temper. The fact that they are often angry and maintain a strict demeanor is what makes them a “sara boss.” From tearing up someone’s work to barking orders, yelling at people at meetings, unnecessary undue harshness, manipulation, and extreme incivility, are all part and parcel of a workers experience in certain workplace settings.   

These attitudes are the reasons behind workplace bullying, harassment and incivility. Imagine the situation if all bosses are expected to and accepted as behaving in this manner and what if those who are upper in the hierarchy believe that this sort of attitude helps in getting the best out of your employees. In these enlightened times where labor laws and human resource policies are supposed to look after workers’ rights and mental and physical wellbeing it is disheartening to see that there no actual simplified and accessible mechanisms to prevent the harm done by workplace bullying.

Bullying can range from regular and repeated criticism, ignoring, humiliating/belittling, to undermining a person’s opinion, over supervision, over managing/micromanaging, to intimidation. These actions on a manager’s part should be preventable by some mechanism. There are also certain specific psychological aspects to this sort of harassment. Some of the extreme psychological tactics involve extreme manipulation through fear, isolation, devaluation, and last but not least the age old tried and tested tactic of gaslighting. Isolation is the worst form because then it is not only the management that is involved but also your co-workers and colleagues. On many instances once the abuser is reported there follows more harassment in the form of financial and legal abuse. Bullying and harassment are sometimes means to an end such as promoting a favorite but often it is an end in itself. Some humans are naturally cruel. Very often women are more vulnerable but men too fall prey to such situations as well. I think I am also entitled to some sexism because women fare the worst in such situations. There is often no actual physical violence but verbal violence is enough to cause intense discomfort to a person. Therefore although victims of sexual and gender-based violence are encouraged to report, incidences of verbal violence and incivility however extreme are rarely reported and there are few clear mechanisms which can be adopted to prevent them and protect victims from continued abuse. The mechanisms in place are so long and convoluted that the passage of time itself reminds one of the adage “justice delayed is justice denied.”

It is an accepted fact that all humans are equal and as such deserve equal respect and dignity and fair treatment however the gendered and sexists viewpoints which prevail remain a troubling aspect of harassment in the workplace. Very often those in the hierarchies and in the top and midlevel management positions use the individual vulnerabilities to abuse their power and harass workers. Often the abuse is of such a covert nature that even the victims have difficulty convincing themselves of what is taking place. This behavior might be observed in some of us some of the time, it is the repeated and unrelenting manifestation that makes it bullying. Anger, though negative is a normal emotion. Yet if such emotions are normalized and allowed to continuously threaten the wellbeing of a person or a group then there is cause for concern. In such situations very often it is the whistleblowers themselves who are targeted.

Another troubling aspect is that we look out for people of our own class, gender, category or affiliation. Equality cannot work that way. If society is to be a better place every one should be physically and psychologically safe. Thus equality should be maintained across ranks and classes. Since there is a gendered aspect to this phenomenon it must be also understood that feminism cannot be forced or simply performative. Systems and structures of oppression must be revealed even at the cost of losing our safe place.

It needs to be understood and accepted that bullying of any sort or degree is cruel and that bullies are psychopaths or sociopaths and that bullying behavior whether in the parliament, school or corporate setting is undesirable in the extreme. However, there need to be clear mechanisms of how verbal abuse can be reported and justice sought. The (patriarchal) systems and structures of oppression are already in place, they have been enacted they need to be amended, reversed and corrected so justice is swift and fairness and equality is ensured. We most certainly do not need “sara bosses.” We need safe spaces and benevolent co-workers if we are to be productive.