20 September, 2020

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News From Kekirilanthaya – IV

By Sudat Pasqual

Sudat Pasqual

Sudat Pasqual

Cricket News

International Cricket Council Chief Executive Dave Richardson has vehemently denied that he was referring to the administration of Sri Lanka Cricket when he said that illegal actions was the most pressing issue that had to be addressed by the ICC. “I realize that considering the continuous outrageous conduct of the individuals heading SLC , it is natural to conclude that whenever we at the ICC refers to illegal actions, we are referring to the hierarchy Sri Lanka Cricket. However, on this occasion I was merely making a point about the importance of eliminating illegal BOWLING actions from the game. Illegal actions of SLC will be discussed at length at the next general meeting”, Richardson concluded.

More Cricket

In a stunning development , the International Cricket Council has agreed to allow India to bring their own drop in pitches for all their matches. ICC said that India was well within their rights to demand that they get to defend their title on wickets similar to the ones in the subcontinent. Indian bowlers have struggled on Australian and New Zealand pitches and if we don’t allow them to bring their own pitches India probably won’t make to the 2nd round the statement further explained. That would not be good for the game or the players in India. This makes it a win-win situation for India the statement concluded.

Sri Lanka Cricket News

WimalThe executive committee of Sri Lanka Cricket responded to Minister’s call for gentlemanly behavior from SLC administrators in the following manner;

” Since forcefully imposed on our membership by the first siblings of Sri Lanka, this Executive Committee has diligently followed long established practices of Intransigence at every opportunity. We are and will always remain committed to bringing the greatest amount of disrepute in the shortest amount of time tothis cash cow of a game. We have never seeked cheap publicity by acting in a transparent or accountable manner. We are proud to say that not one amongst us is a gentleman. The last of those were kicked out along with Arjuna Ranatunga. We declare to the world that this committee will continue its path of destruction of all that’s good and decent, including individuals such as Kumar Sangakkara. The minister may force us to the fountain of decency and good governance, but he will NOT make us change our uncouth ways. Thank you.”

MP Watson Hadunhetti has declared that the Secretary of Sri Lanka Cricket Board has agreed to deposit $1 billion due in back taxes to Finance Minister’s designated account at the Union Bank. Once the transaction is confirmed the money will be shared with the Minister of Sports and SLC Secretary’s position will be merged with the office of the CEO. All’s well that ends well

News of Mrs.Weerawansa

The ethically challenged and factually confused Mrs.Wimal Weerawansa was panic stricken and inconsolable when told that her passport was impounded. Mrs.Weerawansa was heard lamenting, “I am almost out of edible underwear. Now Wimal will start going to those horrible massage parlors again! I can’t compete with those sophisticated bimbos. Oh my god!”

Weerawansa vows to restrict food intake

Calling the treatment of Mohan Pieris as unjust, the designated imbecile of that Rajapaksa cabinet Wimal Weerawansa vowed to limit his caloric intake to 1,500 per meal till Pieris is made chief of something. He said it was the same amount consumed by him during the protest against the UN. This kind of mean and tasteless behavior was expected of us, but I expected more from our Tamils and the Muslim brethren.

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Latest comments

  • 2
    0

    Don’t waste your time about Weerawanse. He is gone and hopefully for good. Unfortunately he is given preferential treatment by Ranil by not taking his wife in to custody.

    At the Cricket Board what do you expect when a crook like Mahindadnanda is sports Minister and Nishantha R is defacto chair.

    Hopefully all sports bodies like SLC, NOC, Athletics and all others will be cleaned up from people who use these as their own property and have been in office for decades. What a shame that we cannot even win a medal at Commonwealth after sending a delegation of 100 +

  • 3
    1

    I don’t think people are finding you funny. I know you are trying to be but you are not.

    I would take a breather and write after that. Hopefully you will be better then.

    Not everyone can do satire well and you certainly can’t.

    • 0
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      Robert R, you must think yourself a great satirist ? If so do better, otherwise SHUT UP and let this guy have his say !

      I find it amusing !

  • 0
    2

    Passa, there was a time only a handful of VVIPs and VIPs were entitled to Diplomatic passports; wives were not in that club even though some over eager Protocol officials in the Foreign Ministry tried their best to curry favor with the leaders to get Diplomatic passports for wives. The offending actions started really during ACS muslim Hameed’s period where he was eternally globe trotting at state expense and JR and Preme starting dishing out diplomatic passports left right and centre. MR also made it worse. The worse period in diplomatic posts given to cronies, cousins, cousin in laws, sister’s husbands, husbands sisters, daughters, sons, nephews etc was made a public policy by MR. That is why his cousins who traded tea became as thieves in DC making money off of sales of Crown property etc. That is how they came to Moscow, to Sri Lankan airline chairmanships(by the way how is that third rate planter doing with his mistress the Airhostess now? is she still with him now that he is out of job like his brother in law?), AASL chairman, and so many other posts. if you were a R relative or a crony from south of the Bentara River you made off like bandits in the MR regime.

    Well hopefully your satire will work with My3. His brother is already Chairman TRC, His son in law already media director and his pal Wijedasa’s son is also in a govt position. Ranil W (RW) got his nephew Ruwan W (RW) a ministership too.

    Wait for the elections. After that, when RW will remove all the bases and Tamil Tigers start lobbing bombs at Palalay again write a bit more.

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