By Sudat Pasqual –
International Cricket Council Chief Executive Dave Richardson has vehemently denied that he was referring to the administration of Sri Lanka Cricket when he said that illegal actions was the most pressing issue that had to be addressed by the ICC. “I realize that considering the continuous outrageous conduct of the individuals heading SLC , it is natural to conclude that whenever we at the ICC refers to illegal actions, we are referring to the hierarchy Sri Lanka Cricket. However, on this occasion I was merely making a point about the importance of eliminating illegal BOWLING actions from the game. Illegal actions of SLC will be discussed at length at the next general meeting”, Richardson concluded.
In a stunning development , the International Cricket Council has agreed to allow India to bring their own drop in pitches for all their matches. ICC said that India was well within their rights to demand that they get to defend their title on wickets similar to the ones in the subcontinent. Indian bowlers have struggled on Australian and New Zealand pitches and if we don’t allow them to bring their own pitches India probably won’t make to the 2nd round the statement further explained. That would not be good for the game or the players in India. This makes it a win-win situation for India the statement concluded.
Sri Lanka Cricket News
” Since forcefully imposed on our membership by the first siblings of Sri Lanka, this Executive Committee has diligently followed long established practices of Intransigence at every opportunity. We are and will always remain committed to bringing the greatest amount of disrepute in the shortest amount of time tothis cash cow of a game. We have never seeked cheap publicity by acting in a transparent or accountable manner. We are proud to say that not one amongst us is a gentleman. The last of those were kicked out along with Arjuna Ranatunga. We declare to the world that this committee will continue its path of destruction of all that’s good and decent, including individuals such as Kumar Sangakkara. The minister may force us to the fountain of decency and good governance, but he will NOT make us change our uncouth ways. Thank you.”
MP Watson Hadunhetti has declared that the Secretary of Sri Lanka Cricket Board has agreed to deposit $1 billion due in back taxes to Finance Minister’s designated account at the Union Bank. Once the transaction is confirmed the money will be shared with the Minister of Sports and SLC Secretary’s position will be merged with the office of the CEO. All’s well that ends well
News of Mrs.Weerawansa
The ethically challenged and factually confused Mrs.Wimal Weerawansa was panic stricken and inconsolable when told that her passport was impounded. Mrs.Weerawansa was heard lamenting, “I am almost out of edible underwear. Now Wimal will start going to those horrible massage parlors again! I can’t compete with those sophisticated bimbos. Oh my god!”
Weerawansa vows to restrict food intake
Calling the treatment of Mohan Pieris as unjust, the designated imbecile of that Rajapaksa cabinet Wimal Weerawansa vowed to limit his caloric intake to 1,500 per meal till Pieris is made chief of something. He said it was the same amount consumed by him during the protest against the UN. This kind of mean and tasteless behavior was expected of us, but I expected more from our Tamils and the Muslim brethren.