18 September, 2019

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The Tourist In The Chicken Coop

 By Gongalay Gotabanda

Gongalay Gotabanda

Gongalay Gotabanda

Once upon a time, on a sunny morning in Sri Rogerpakistan, a man looked out of the window and saw a tourist inside his chicken coop. So the man went to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her.

“There is a tourist in the chicken coop” he said, “and I think he is hatching an international conspiracy!”

His wife opened one angry eye and looked at him.

“Tourism has been completely defeated” she said. “There are no longer any tourists in Sri Rogerpakistan…not even the ones who went around waving white bed sheets!”

So the man walked out slowly into the garden and went towards the chicken coop. The tourist was still there.

“Are you a tourist or a state tourist?” the man asked. “I’m a tourist, and I’m hatching an international conspiracy using NGO money to bring the government of Sri Rogerpakistan into disrepute!” the tourist replied.

So the man walked back into the house and roused his wife again. “The tourist is hatching an international conspiracy using NGO money to bring the government of Sri Rogerpakistan into disrepute!” he said.

His wife sat up in bed and looked at him coldly.

“You are an unpatriotic traitor who doesn’t love his country or the beloved Royal family,” she said, “and I’m going to have you arrested under the POT (Prevention of Tourism act).”

The man who was a patriot, who didn’t boast about it to anyone, thought for a moment. “We shall see about that,” he said. Then he walked back towards the chicken coop to watch the tourist. But the tourist had vanished! Maybe a ‘White Unidentified Four-wheeled Object’ (WUFO) would had made him vanish thought the man.

The wife got up and dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited, thinking about the reward she would get for capturing a traitor. So she hung the national flag from the window (the correct way not upside down like Jeffrey Dobbs did), screamed ‘maathrooboomeyata jayawaywaa’ and telephoned the Peacekeepers and the Minister of POT and told them to hurry to her house as soon as possible!

When the Peacekeepers and the Minister of POT arrived, they sat down and looked at her with great interest.

“My husband,” she said, “saw a tourist inside our chicken coop this morning!”

The Peacekeepers looked at the Minister of POT, and the Minister of POT looked at the Peacekeepers.

“He told me that the tourist was hatching an international conspiracy using NGO money!” she said.

The Minister of POT looked at the Peacekeepers, and the Peacekeepers looked at the Minister of POT.

“He told me the tourist was planning on bringing disrepute on the government of Sri Rogerpakistan!” she said.

At a signal from the Minister of POT, the Peacekeepers leapt into action and seized the wife. She put up a terrific struggle, but they finally got her under control, just as the husband came back from the chicken coop.

“Did you tell your wife you saw a tourist in the chicken coop?” asked the Minister of POT.

“Of course not,” said the husband. “Tourism has been completely defeated and there are no longer any tourists on Sri Rogerpakistan…not even the ones who went around waving white bed sheets!”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” said the Minister of POT. “Take her away. I’m sorry sir, but your wife is a threat to national security and we have to rehabilitate her!”

So they took her away, cursing and screaming and locked her up in a “Welfare Holiday Camp” under the POT act.’

And so the husband lived happily ever after.

The Moral of the story:

Don’t count your international conspiracies before they are hatched.

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Latest comments

  • 9
    2

    GG,
    Good reporting.
    But dont tell this to any of the more than the one-hundred ministers – they may just beleive it and rush home to inspect their chicken coops -and those of their neighbours.

  • 7
    9

    Yet another worthless piece by some idiot on a website that’s fast becomming a bloody joke.
    Beyond that, if a country waits for a conspiracy to fully hatch without nipping it in the bud would be more idiotic than these writings of this mentally retarded man!
    Oh but no wait, its called “NGO Rights” to de-stabilise a sovereign state!

    • 2
      8

      Why are you complaining about this website? I’ve been visiting this site now and then to enjoy the delicious punakku on offer and now I keep coming here more often to enjoy the steaming hot piles of one-sided anti-Sinhalese, anti-Buddhist punakku served hot hot every day. Why else do you think that this site is so popular among the latte-sipping Colombo 7 and pro-LTTE crowd? And the best thing is that they think their views represent the majority of SL! Mmm, such punakku! Omnomnom!

      • 5
        0

        You seem to be consuming a very rare kind of Punnaku to leave this kind of remarks. Anyway the ruminants could have better thoughts: Just adding the views against that of you means for you – that work with LTTE rump or the similar only would react so – and is tantamout with the views of Wimal buruwanse accusing of anyone who may have anti-MR thoughts to be branded as NGO worker,ones cough for dollars etc. Not only NGO workers, but anyone living in and out of lanken seas may will not say yes to the murders of Rajakse clan.

        Knowing the facts that Mahwamse being half complete -SS to add her analysis should be acceptable by any right thinking, healthy ones in and out of the country. Even Prof. HL had added his greatremarks claiming his could fall in the same direction.Calling a spade a spade is NOT an easy task at all.

      • 3
        0

        So you’re the one that’s been eating all the punnakku – leave some for the rest of the LTTE crowd please. Sharing is caring.

      • 1
        0

        Keep some of that Punakku for consumption after Geneva in March. You can feed it to your bosses if the International Criminal Court permits your delectable diet being brought in from outside!

    • 4
      0

      Senaratne are you Govt Henchmen (Henchayyah)?

    • 4
      0

      For Humourless Buggers as these Moda Pig Shit eaters, behind every lamp post there is a LTTEer and a threat to a non existent Sovereignty.

  • 8
    1

    The Minister of POT has lots of admirers!

    He is Caligula to Madam Thisaranee who deserves the Nobel prize for courage, and Mad God Goon Gota to others (MGGG) (Dr. Jagath who deserves the prize for satire and comic relief) and MDGG (Mad Dog Goon Gota) to others – ffforget MDGs and the UN!

    Great stuff, serious fun – CT is becoming an excellent site for good political satire.. exactly what we need!

  • 6
    7

    No, the moral is:

    Don’t trust the NGO kaaraya to tell an original story.

  • 8
    5

    This is really funny-well written, too.

  • 6
    0

    I think the tourist was missing because he crossed the road with the chicken

  • 3
    5

    –not even the ones who went around waving white bed sheets!”–

    I did’t read after this, this is enough to identify tiger gay soul inside author.

    This peace is like village thug crying after a police constable attack him.

  • 0
    5

    If I was the Minister of POT, I would let the Peacekeepers rape the woman and then kill her. Rehabilitation is a waste of time. Lol.

    • 0
      3

      And this is why Tamil barbarians shouldn’t be in charge of anything beyond the cleaning shifts at public lavatories :-)

  • 4
    0

    Who wrote this story? The writer is invisible.Probably Jagath Ashoka?This is much better than his nonsensical article, ‘ Rajapakshas are my gods’

  • 2
    0

    good satire…

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