22 September, 2020

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Why We All Should Vote For Mahinda

By V. Kanthaiya

I have an Equus africanus asinus at home, a very gentle, brilliant animal when compared to our politicians and my fellow human beings. This animal, commonly called a donkey by scientists, talks to me.

Hold on! I know what you’re thinking right now. This is a forum for discussing politics, not for children’s stories. But this donkey really talks to me. All right! I come to your point that nowhere in this world does a donkey talk. Accepted! So too is it that nowhere in this world does a man, accused of murdering a government MP cum ministry advisor say in a court of law, “I don’t remember anything as I have lost my part of my brain in the shootout”, yet later gives a grand speech about the “Mahavamsa” and the history of Sri Lanka, to the public gatherings in Kolonnawa. Please keep this in mind, at least till you finish reading this article.

Mahinda DumindaThis is Sri Lanka, the wonder of Asia and our president is H.E. Mahinda Rajapaksa and we both are “true” patriots who love this country above anything and everything. I believe these facts would sum up why an Equus africanus asinus, aka donkey can talk in this part of the world.

Having reached an agreement that my Equus africanus asinus aka donkey can talk, because the writer, reader, and the donkey are Sri Lankans and especially “true” Sri Lankans who love Sri Lanka, not the US Dollars, we all unanimously agree to advance to the proceeding sections of the article.

I generally discuss Tamil movies and the “Mega Serials”, with the donkey. But the animal is not interested in these topics. He considers that Tamil movies, especially the stunts are completely unrealistic and unacceptable as per the Newtonian laws of Physics and in some specific cases as per the General Theory of Relativity. He also considers the extremely emotional Tamil “Mega Serials” not to be in line with the Psychoanalysis Theory formed by Sigmund Freud.

To make the matters worse, the animal often starts to argue that the interpreted high-end languages such as python, ruby on rails and java script should not be taught at schools in USA, instead the plain version of Java and C++ should be taught, as the former focus on rapid application development, and not the general structure of the programming language. At this point, I had only two options in my life; to drink the pesticide I bought for Onion cultivation, or give it to the donkey.

By god’s grace, before I found the pesticide, the Presidential election was called. Now we (myself and the donkey, not the reader) have found a common topic to discuss.

I was waiting for guidance from the Tamil National Alliance (TNA), about whom should I vote for, but the TNA was quite busy being thrashed by EPDP members in the District Development Coordination Meetings. So I sought guidance from the donkey.

The donkey, without any hesitation said I should vote for Mahinda Rajapaksa in this Presidential election and also the next, and Namal Rajapaksa in the one after that. The animal gave me astounding, undeniable facts in support of his view, which I am happy to share with the Colombo Telegraph readers.

We Sri Lankans have successfully survived and grown despite the various vicious, venomous, malicious and mischievous international conspiracies to disrupt the hard earned peace by our brave soldiers through the internationally acclaimed “humanitarian operation” with zero civilian causality. H.E. President Rajapaksa successfully fought these western forces with the support of his brother Gotabaya Rajapaksa, Wimal Weerawansa, Udaya Gammanpila, CA Chadraprema, HLD Mahindapala and above all the bravest Rajpal Abeynayake of Daily News.

Several Unidentified Flying Objects (not the Unidentified Four Wheeled Objects) have been observed in the airspace of Sri Lanka in the recent past. The number of such incidents compared to the size of the country is alarming. This substantiates the suspicion that the Western nations, having failed in their attempt to defeat the president, now joined hands with extra terrestrial forces.

There is ample logic to conclude that the re-entry of Ms. Kumaratunga into politics and the betrayal of Maithripala Sirisena is part of an inter-galactic conspiracy, and not limited to an international conspiracy anymore. President Rajapaksa is the one and only leader who can defeat this inexplicable inter-galactic conspiracy and save this country.

No one has to explain how much has been done by President Rajapaksa on the highway developments. Even the foreign intellectuals predict that with the highway development spree the country is undergoing, each house will have its own highway built by Chinese contractors funded by Chinese banks, in 2050.

The donkey also further explained that once power is transferred from Mahinda Rajapaksa, to none other than Namal Rajapaksa, the country will see each house having its own international airport, international racing track and of course if it’s located on the coast, its own international harbour.

Presently government employees are given motor cycles for just Rs. 50,000 which would cost more than Rs. 225,000 in the market. This is done by the government so that the masses can really ride the bikes on the carpet roads built by the government and benefit from the post war development.

The donkey has also predicted that in the future, the President would also be able to offer super luxury cars such as Ferrari, Aston Martin, and Lamborghini to the Sri Lankan masses for just Rs. 100,000 if the people continue to offer their unconditional support.

While explaining these facts, the donkey suddenly became very emotional and said that the Sri Lankan people were not privileged to see the Bollywood Superstars in close proximity. Namal Rajapaksa, guided by President Mahinda Rajapaksa changed this pathetic fate of the Sri Lankan people by bringing stars such as Salman Khan, Vivek Oberoi, John Abraham, Anil Kapoor, and Bipasha Basu to our motherland. Our people’s lives and hearts were redeemed by this act. No one needs to explain how this would have contributed to uplift the standard of living in the rural areas, once those stars performed in front of them.

Then the animal asked, “Who held the first ever car race in the country, first in Colombo, then in Kandy, the world heritage city? These car races tremendously helped our youth to get additional employment opportunities, especially to pack the sand bags and place them along the roads”.

Another reason the donkey said, why we should all vote for Mahinda Rajapaksa is the perpetual Colombo road renovation. People in Bambalapitiya and Wellawatta areas have witnessed the perpetual road renovation being carried out by a private contractor for the Ministry of Defence and Urban Development, for one and a half years now. Some unpatriotic elements in these areas believe that the act is not actually a road renovation, but illegal mining of gems and artefacts, indicating the time span taken and the level of “digging” involved. They even claim that traffic congestion has increased after the road renovation work as the number of traffic lights and the width of the foot path has been increased. The donkey says these allegations are also part of the greater inter-galactic conspiracy against the mother land.

Even with these facts from the donkey, I am not able to decide whom I should vote for. However I have understood one thing. All the Equus africanus asinus aka donkeys want Mahinda Rajapaksa to be elected for the third time.

*The writer and the donkey live in Jaffna, Sri Lanka. Neither of them are political activists or freelance journalists

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Latest comments

  • 18
    5

    Great and timeworthy article.
    Most of these donkeys in parliament work for the victory of Rajapakshe while others stay mum thinking when to leave the coalition. Anyways, those who are like Rambuwella, SB and the few can not make any deciions yet because magnitude of the abuses made by them exceed their everything if they would leave just now. Wait and see, many of the donkeys would end up soon, even if they would win by hook or crook, the newley elected president will have no full powers to fool the nation as has been sofar. He will have to face all the struggle in and out of the island for sure. Jaya niyathai for the opposition won or not.

    • 9
      1

      V. Kanthaiy

      RE: Why We All Should Vote For Mahinda

      *The writer and the donkey live in Jaffna, Sri Lanka. Neither of them are political activists or freelance journalists

      So, you must have seen a lot of Donkeys, Kaluthai, Madus, Mootal etc in Jaffna diring 2005, who wanted the Tamil citizens to vote.

      Some of these Donkeys, Kaluthai, Madus, Mootal etc. w are quite sure are not thre anymoe.

      Are there any of them left who are Donkeys, Kaluthai, Madus, Mootal etc.

      If so ask them to stay at home, and let the Tamil People vote and select somebody.

      • 1
        0

        V. Kanthaiya –

        RE: Why We All Should Vote For Mahinda

        If we don’t [Edited out]

        • 1
          0

          V. Kanthaiya –

          If we don’t [Edited out], Please complete. This is a quiz. CT seem not like Amarasiri’s answers based on policy.

          1.

          2.

          3.

          4.

      • 4
        0

        If you want at least a semblance of democracy in Sri Lanka, vote for Rajapakse.

        If you make him lose, then you will not have democracy, but a dictatorship by him. That’s your choice.

        Jaya weva appe aanduwa!

    • 2
      0

      Can anybody please add the history of Duminda Silva and his family ?

      How did they earn millions or billions within shorter period of time in a country average man s wages are not even 250 rupees a day (less than 2 americal dollars).

      If we could help tracing the sulamula of all these culprits, that will help any law bound authorities to corner them giving long awaiting people a justice.

  • 8
    2

    This is the fate when majority folks stay mum allowing a donkey to rape them by all means. This particular donkey keep insisting that law and order is seen in his regime but being unable to control his own dy minister leaving the country irrespective of announcement of warrant arrest (Muttetugama). This will be seen as their number of intelligence activities. Their activieis are epitomized when boasting about their acts taken during the war end, but not here – people question today, the very same powerful regime being unable to control criminals leaving country – prove that they are no longer capable to stay in power.

  • 5
    1

    what has President of a state got to do with drug peddlers ?

    After all guys that are alleged to be murderre of investigating murder cases ? I thought presidents in general have been busy with important issues .. since they got elected poor people s votes. Specailly the votes grabed by Rural poor people.

    • 6
      0

      “what has President of a state got to do with drug peddlers ? “
      ANSWER: Make them Prime Minister of the country.Especially if the son is also a big-time drug smuggler. Double qualification for the post.

      • 1
        0

        EU leaders have not even minutes to spend visting their MPs meaning that a president and PM of a state is entitled to lot more valauble work, but ours to be busy with VISITING lanza and Kudu duminda – make it clear …

  • 5
    0

    .
    Who knows, Srilankan Donkeys maybe smarter than Srilankans?

    :-)

    • 2
      1

      aratai

      “Who knows, Srilankan Donkeys maybe smarter than Srilankans?”

      Please avoid comparing Lankys with monkeys and donkeys.

  • 5
    0

    worth reading.
    If any chance your donkey is also known as one Dr. Dayan Jayathilaka a self claimed political scientist?

    This donkey happens to be two legged and just wonder how a donkey in Jaffna looks like – my guess is not 2 legged as the other 2 was blasted on a johnny Butta.

  • 2
    7

    Did Elara live in Wellala Gardens to have artifacts and precious Gems buried under Galle Road ?…

  • 2
    9

    Ranil has signed another secret MOU with the ex General to make him a Field Marshall and appoint him to as a UNP National List MP.on the 9th Jan..according to the Snbday Times.

    And it is not a Newspaper which our Sinhala Dalits can read.let alone understand.

    This is the General who boasted that he was going to cull 1000 Tigers a month after gaining the East.

    And he did and beat the crap out of TNA hero Prabakaran.single handed although My Threes’ main mentor and another Ex has claimed 75 % of the Victory.

    Wonder how Praba’s one time Political Wing Leader Vellala Sambandan will feel when the Field Marshall sits next to him in the first all inclusive cabinet of Exec PM Ranil. appointed by Sand Sira’s Brother as President?

    May be Kanthaiya can start an On Line pet shop to supply donkeys to his brethren in Wellala Gardens.

    I don’t think Cinnamon Gardens will allow Donkeys even if they are the talking species like Kanthaiya’s one..

    BTW,Is Kanthaiya different to Kandaiya.

    • 3
      0

      Sumane

      is kanthaiya is different front kandaiya?
      Yes. While kanthaiya is neat and forthright with his views whether mining in wellawatte or voting, the latter kandaiya ( or gandaya) is filthy nefarious character, twisting the facts for money. you know who is it.

      • 1
        0

        ken Robert

        “the latter kandaiya ( or gandaya) is filthy nefarious character, twisting the facts for money. you know who is it.”

        I am sure you didn’t mean Godaya.

  • 4
    0

    Bravo Mr. Kanthaiya, love your sense of humor. The Donkey who lives next door was Braying with delight at the prospect of voting for our savior of the Nation his Exalted self Mahinda , whose many acts of bravery, kindness, generosity and help given to members of his family, and friendly Drug dealers, Murderers, thugs, money launderers, Chinese “Komiss Kakkas” the Justice system,Army and the Police are legendry.All Donkeys must look forwards to a reign of Terror, injustice, family run dictatorship,racial dis harmony and being cast as a Pariah nation in the eyes of the world.God save our country from this coming disaster if this man wins the election.

  • 4
    0

    Out of the total population Percentage of “Equus africanus asinus” in Sri Lanka will be revealed by 9th Jan 2015. IF the % of “Equus africanus asinus” higher we will become the 1st country in the milky way to be ruled by “Equus africanus asinus” that will be more epic than Planet Of the Apes.

    My fear is that it will become true ! as there is so many of it.

  • 1
    0

    I thank the author for correcting one of the deep seated conceptions I had previously: In SL, there are only two kinds of voters.

    1- Cattle who eat rice

    2- People who eat grass.

    Both types voted for MR in 2005.

    Now we know better. There is another type – Equus africanus asinus

  • 0
    2

    KANTHEYYAH. You want more blood. You just an agent of MR and KP and so

  • 0
    0

    MR has chickened out of debating with SM. And we all know why! Why not allow the Equus africanus asinus to debate SM?

    If SM chickens out too, I volunteer to debate myself.

    Aiyandiya. Biya Novamnna. Vada Karana heti mama penvami.

    (Brother, do not be afraid. I will show them how to debate)

  • 0
    0

    The writers version why must one vote in MR – this will be possible in the N/E if only
    the donkey of an EC orders Gota to restrict the Forces to their Camps on the 8th Jany.
    in uniform or civil. CAN HE DO THAT? Will not Gota over-ride it as even MR cannot
    curb him – being a US citizen (donkey) who is more concerned of his life after 9th Jany.

  • 1
    0

    Forget about voting for a moment ! What if MR cancels election and set up a national government with Sajith and Attanayake combo, and with all the arsenal support of Gota Pakse and his ‘law abiding’ humanitarian armed forces? “Thoppi Thamai” !!

    Dayan J will get his plump post and many deserters who jumped ship will go back to MR, including Rauff Hack-him, Rishard Bad-uddin and start doing their usual business. Majority of our Lankans will go back to sleep.

    Lankan politics is now worse than the South Indian one.

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