By Deepthika Appuhamy –
Deepthika Appuhamy
When I read Mr. Fazl’s article on rape and ‘preventative’ measures, I felt a mixture of disbelief and anger. I was angry at the antiquated and discriminatory views expressed in his piece and I felt disbelief that such views could be expressed on a public forum such as the Colombo Telegraph. Upon reflection however, I have resigned myself to accept that his views are not a rarity in our society. Rather, it festers widely within our community and provides fuel for would-be rapists and sexual predators.
I could respond to his comments in two distinct ways. I could firstly break down his arguments one by one and provide my two cents on why I think his views are misleading and dangerous. Secondly however, I could take the crux of his argument and try to understand why he (along with many other individuals in Sri Lanka) holds such a warped opinion on rape and how it exacerbates the plight of sexual assault victims. Therefore, I will not use this space to challenge the question posed by Mr. Muhammed Fazl, which I believe, does not deserve to be addressed or given any more extra attention. Rather, I will make an effort to provide an answer to the question of why some men rape. Why some men feel no remorse in blatantly violating the physical integrity of a woman, and why their comrades such as Mr. Fazl readily excuse their behaviour.
A multi-country study[1] published by a syndicate of UN agencies provides some perspective on this issue. According to the study cited above, 66% of Sri Lankan men who perpetrated rape against women admitted that their motivation for rape was sexual entitlement, and only 34.2% of these respondents felt any remorse for their actions. The pivotal question these statics pose is two-tiered: what social and cultural constructs allow men to derive a feeling of sexual entitlement and why have we as a country and a region, fostered and molly-coddled individuals who hold such opinions?
The Sri Lankan education system, I believe, must bear a large portion of responsibility for the high rape rates. As a born and bred Sri Lankan, I endured more than 10 years of public education. The only form of sex education we received was a 5 page description of puberty and some indistinct pictures. Whilst some children (myself included), refer to thick volumes of encyclopaedias for our ‘birds and bees’ questions, most children (especially boys) satisfy their burning questions through internet pornography and hear-say of older, more experienced ‘aiyyas’ and ‘akkas’. Where is the conversation regarding intimacy, consent and mutual respect? Who teaches Sri Lankan children to protect themselves against sexual abuse and unwanted physical contact? How do young girls learn to believe that they are not subordinates of their male counterparts and do not need to say yes if they mean no? Who guides young boys to respect the physical integrity and personal space of others?
When our education system discourages any open discussion regarding sexual conduct, is it really surprising that young men with distorted feelings of sexual entitlement grow up thinking that they have a right to accost any woman sexually? And if our education system does not teach young boys of their responsibility to respect their female counterparts, is it really such a shock that men such as Mr. Fazl feel no guilt in victim blaming and shaming?
The distorted minds created by the local education system are then nurtured through our criminal justice system. In my line of work at the Sri Lankan criminal court system, I have personally witnessed the fear and guilt that victims experience whilst on the witness stand. To put it succinctly, they are raped over again by an unsympathetic criminal justice system. Whilst statues[2] in countries such as the UK severely restrict evidence of prior sexual history of the victim in rape trials, personal history of the victim is open season for Sri Lanka defence lawyers. Furthermore, rape cases drag on for decades at which point, many victims lose all hope for legal redress.
The antiquated Sri Lankan statutes on sexual assault further blight the already apathetic criminal justice system. For instance, the principle enactment of law on rape found in section 363 of the Penal Code, fails to outlaw marital rape[3]. Marital rape has been outlawed in most countries for decades[4]and intimate partner violence is considered to be as equally atrocious as non-partner rape. Moreover, under Section 364, the punishment for gang rape and rape of a minor under the age of 18 ranges from a measly seven years to a maximum of twenty. Appallingly, 97% of Sri Lankan men who admit to raping a woman do not face any form of legal consequences. It is time for the Sri Lankan legislature to engage in an introspective discussion of whether the current law imposes a sufficient degree of legal deterrence against sexually motivated crimes.
When rapists and sexual predators are provided with an environment which fosters gender discrimination and misogyny, we will continue to mourn the demise of another young woman at the hands of warped minds. When we allow individuals such as Mr. Fazl to freely provide justifications for heinous acts going against the very fundamental principles of humanity, we obliquely encourage predators to carry out their attacks with no reservations.
Vithya’s unimaginable torture and indescribably tragic demise has opened up the usually dormant discussion of rape prevention in Sri Lanka. It has brought to light, the pressing need for stricter legal deterrence against rape and the plight of countless women who have fallen victim to rape and sexual assault long before Vithya’s brutal murder. In light of the gang rape and murder of an 18 year old school child, any opinion piece on rape must contribute constructively to the discussion of rape prevention. It must not apportion blame on the victim or hold women responsible for their own suffering. As Germaine Greer rightly states, ‘guilt is one side of a nasty triangle; the other two are shame and stigma. This grim coalition combines to inculpate women themselves of the crimes committed against them’[5]. Mr. Fazl’s article embodies everything indicated by Dr. Greer and for that reason, must reproached.
[1] ‘Why do some men use violence against women and how can we prevent it?: Quantitative findings from the United Nations Multi-Country study on men and violence in Asia and the Pacific’, < http://unwomen-asiapacific.org/docs/WhyDoSomeMenUseViolenceAgainstWomen_P4P_Report.pdf> Accessed 26th May 2015.
[2] Section 41 of the Youth Justice and Criminal Evidence Act 1999.
[3] Admittedly, some minor legislation on domestic violence discusses marital rape, but this is neither comprehensive nor
[4] Eg: by the decision of R v R (1991) in the UK and even in Asian countries such as Thailand in 2007 (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6225872.stm)
[5] < http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/12/opinion/greer-women-and-guilt/>
Sengodan. M / May 27, 2015
A good view point boldly expressed. No doubt our laws in respect of rape, especially gang rape and similar severe crimes need revision.
Also a better sex education should become a part of the school curriculum.
Sengodan. M
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Amarasiri / May 27, 2015
Deepthika Appuhamy
RE: In Response To ‘Are Women To Be Blamed For Rape?’
No. TThey are not, the men wgho rape are.
So how are they to be pinished to that there is a deterrent?
I woud recomment the ancient Sinhala Punishment, The Stake, “Ula Thiyanawa”.
Or alternately you can do what the sqaudi atabians and indians, doo. Just Chop their heads off or hang them.
A comparison of punishments for rape in India vs other countries
New Delhi: In recent times, rape has become a crime of major concern in India, with Parliament enacting a new law providing stringent punishments for rape, molestation and sexual harassment. Most of the criminals who attempt rape and molestation, are afflicted with a sixk mindset.
http://www.indiatvnews.com/crime/news/a-comparison-of-punishments-for-rape-in-india-vs-other-countries-3532.html
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Raja / May 27, 2015
Human beings have urges but they must be controlled to acceptable norms in a civilized society:
Men and women, if they don’t wear decent attire, they can arouse the opposite sex’s sexual urges. In the Western society it is fashionable and acceptable for women to wear scanty dresses: However, that is not the cause of rape in Western societies. Rapes are rampant in India, Sri Lanka and elsewhere where scanty dress is not the norm.
Under the rule of the Tigers rape was virtually non-existent: Women were free to travel in day or night; It boils down to tough rules and punishment for rapists.
In Saudi Arabia the punishment for theft is amputation of a hand: The result is that a merchant can go for mid-day prayer leaving the merchandise unattended by the roadside.
Society must formulate and IMPLEMENT tough punishments for rape, and the buck stops there. Will the law makers and the enforcers do it? I doubt it will happen in Sri Lanka.
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Diebutterfly / May 27, 2015
Wow, Saudi Arabia as an example of law and order – a gang raped woman was just given 200 lashes in Saudi Arabia- harsh punishments do not work long term- Sri Lanka needs better education, which includes teaching absolute equality between sexes and actual sex education.
Being a prude is fine, burying your head is the sand is not.
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Thiru / May 27, 2015
Diebutterfly,
I know Saudi law is wrong for rape punishment, but the point I made is the law must be strict, punishment severe and it must be enforced.
Even in the best educated Western countries rape of college girls is rampant, may be because the laws there are not adequate.
Education alone is no guarantee without proper laws to prevent or deter it.
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Amarasiri / May 28, 2015
Thiru,
“Even in the best educated Western countries rape of college girls is rampant, may be because the laws there are not adequate.”
They have 100,000 rapes per year, with a few gang rapes andd murder thrown in.
If they had the Saudi Punishment, may be it will go down to 10,000 rapes per year. They have the education. So education will certainly help in reducing the numbers, but letting the culprits know that they will be caught, and if caught punished will help the number to go down.
After all, still there are a lot of murders in the West especially in the USA with lax gun laws.
The Westerners have given an Education in the Earth rotating on its own axis and going around the Sun for the last 400 odd years. Still 25% of the Americans and 34% of the Europeans believe the Sun goes around the Earth. Remember the Average IQ is these countries is around 100.
For Sri Lanka, with the Average IQ around 79, it is a much harder task to educate and getting the Paras, Para-Sinhala, Para-Tamils and other Paras to behave.
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2014/02/14/277058739/1-in-4-americans-think-the-sun-goes-around-the-earth-survey-says
1 In 4 Americans Thinks The Sun Goes Around The Earth, Survey Says
A view of Venus, black dot at top center, passing in front of the sun during a transit in 2012. A quarter of Americans questioned failed to answer correctly the most basic questions on astronomy.
A view of Venus, black dot at top center, passing in front of the sun during a transit in 2012. A quarter of Americans questioned failed to answer correctly the most basic questions on astronomy.
AP
A quarter of Americans surveyed could not correctly answer that the Earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around, according to a report out Friday from the National Science Foundation.
The survey of 2,200 people in the United States was conducted by the NSF in 2012 and released on Friday at an annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science meeting in Chicago.
To the question “Does the Earth go around the Sun, or does the Sun go around the Earth,” 26 percent of those surveyed answered incorrectly.
In the same survey, just 39 percent answered correctly (true) that “The universe began with a huge explosion” and only 48 percent said “Human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals.”
Just over half understood that antibiotics are not effective against viruses.
As alarming as some of those deficits in science knowledge might appear, Americans fared better on several of the questions than similar, but older surveys of their Chinese and European counterparts.
Only 66 percent of people in a 2005 European Union poll answered the basic astronomy question correctly. However, both China and the EU fared significantly better (66 percent and 70 percent, respectively) on the question about human evolution.
In a survey compiled by the National Opinion Research Center from various sources, Americans seemed to generally support science research and expressed the greatest interest in new medical discoveries and local school issues related to science. They were least interested in space exploration, agricultural developments and international and foreign policy issues related to science.
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Alahakoon / May 27, 2015
Raja,
Go and visit pole dancing and lap dancing club to see how men behave in front of sexy, naked, beautiful women. Men are usually having alcohol too..
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Silva / May 28, 2015
those are only gays
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su siri / May 29, 2015
You just showed your complete ignorance.
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srilal / May 28, 2015
Alahakoon ,
if you misbehave inside the club , you will be thrown out by the bouncers !
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Analyst / May 27, 2015
Good it’s time for the law to be strict and severe punishment , that is the only solution to deter these maniacs.
Yahapalanaya this need to be your priority too to the women of the country they Need to be put first unless it’s following the karmas of the ancient kings.
Teaching at schools is a waste of time and finances.
Punish severe punishment and honest and efficient law system to punish the.criminal not the other way round punish the innocent like it’s been happening .
The true.criminal HIDE BEHIND AND SAVED UNDEMOCRATICALLY BY THE POWERFULL SUPERIORS.
THEN THERES NO MEANING IN THE LAW SYSTEM TO GO TO COURT AND PUNISH AN INNOCENT MAN WHILE THE MURDERERS AND THE CRIMINALS WALK FREE.
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Analyst / May 27, 2015
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CRIME LIKE. VIDTHYA AND OTHER GIRLS AND WOMEN IN THAT PART OF THE COUNTRY.
THE LAW IS PROTECTING SOMEBODY??? YOUNG GIRLS OF TEN AND ELEVEN WERE RAPED IN THAT PART OF THE. COUNTRY BY WHOM?? YOU AND I KNOW BECAUSE THEY WERE IN OCCUPATION IN THE LAND AND THEYRE PROTECTED BY THE COUNTRY .
NOW. WHO DO WE BLAME ? AN INNOCENT MAN?
Find the real culprits whether they were officers or gentlemen.
THATS WHERE THE LAW GOES QUIET.
YAHAPALANAYA SHOULD SET AN EXAMPLE., PUNISH THE REAL CULPRIT PLEASE DO NOT PUNISH AN INNOCENT.
GOD IS THERE TO PUNISH TOO WHEN THE LAW DOES NOT DO THE RIGHT.
“RUBBISHING THE ANGUISH OF THE PARENTS LIKE THE GIRL HAS RUN AWAY WITH BOY FRIEND”
This was the mentality of the officers and the politicians during the last corrupt regime.
Remember the soldiers who were sent back from TAHITI.PEACE CORPS. THEY WERE SENT BACK FOR THE SAME REASON.
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Alahakoon / May 27, 2015
Number of people here trying to indicate that India has more rapes, that is a lie.. Per capita reported rapes in India is much less than SL. In 2012, 25,000 reported rapes in India. SL has 1500 reported rapes, but there are only 21million people in SL.. If Indian behave like Siri Lankans, there should be 90,000 reported rapes in India.
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Ben Hurling / May 29, 2015
Excellent article by Deepthika Appuhamy.
Fazl’s mind is a lot more twisited by primitive religious thinking than I ever thought possible.
I am worried about Fazl’s spouse. Honestly.
Cheers!
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Nadeeka Gamage / May 27, 2015
I think responding to people with mindsets like Mr. Fazl is a waste.
To quote Thisuri Wanniarachchi’s Sri Lanka’s Daughter:
“Our goal must not be to fix the broken but to set up policies that ensure the safety of the unbroken, the unborn; those who are forced by society to be broken. Recognizing the fact that it is too late for some, that there are many who are too broken to fix, is the first step to accomplishing change. They should be our motivation, our stepping stone. If we start now, our children and their children may not have to experience the unjust, unspeakable, inhumane violence that Vidya did. Education reform is the only way.”
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Vasanthi / May 27, 2015
These comments are what are expected from some of the fundamentalist followers of Mohammed.No wonder ISIS thrives because of people like Mr Farzi.Thy consider women as commodities or rather as toilet paper to be used and flushd away. God save the World from thssse uncivilized people
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maya / May 27, 2015
Vasanthi this issue is not a muslim fanatic only issue. It happens in all societies where there is no equality between the men and women. All male dominated societies have rape, women battering and all the other abuses that women have to endure. Education and the empowerment of women in all areas, financial, physical and emotional is the answer. In order to achieve this we have to fight to create a new world order where where every person is valued and treasured.
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Silva / May 28, 2015
be not racial and comment on personal
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Rajash / May 27, 2015
Deepthika….not sure why you felt a need to respond to his article …..I saw the title of the article and decided to ignore it
People like him and Asanga have half intelligence ……
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Nirosha / May 27, 2015
You are the one who has a sexist mindset. Did you forget that rapists can be females as well. But female rapist gets away in our country all of them 100%. Every developed country recognize that rape is unisex issue. What people like you looking for is more rapes so that you can attack all men and that’s the primary goal of your life.
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Alahakoon / May 27, 2015
Feel really proud about intelligence, courage and presentation skills of young girls like you and Thisuri Wanniarachchi. You have to come forward more often and share your insight on other issues too. Like foolish old male lunatics destroying your country, your future by acting as political & administrative leaders… How much damage some of those male Buddhist monks do to your country?
Good on you Deepika…
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Saman / May 27, 2015
Many thanks to Deepthika Appuhamy for your factual and authentic piece of writing.
Most people go to Buddhist and Hindu temples, churches,and mosques.
Most of them say we are religious but their way of life and way of thinking are completely far from those teachings.
In western and European countries, even some Asian countries like Singapore and Malaysia, people, specially men both men and boys have been educated and trained how to respect girls and ladies.
Unfortunately so called Land of Dharma is now completely changed into otherwise.
For all those changes previous regime (Rajapaksa Regime) must be responsible.
Present President Maithreepala Sirisena or Prime Minister Ranil Wickramasinghe can not change that environment over the night.
Racism and corruption have been deep rooted and unfortunately implanted in younger generation.
Hope this government will do something better than Rajapaksa.
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Vibhushana / May 27, 2015
Top-10 countries with a rape epidemic.
http://top10for.com/top-10-countries-highest-rape-crime-2014/
If you are in SL you are considerably well off in most social indicators compared to South Asia.
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Silva / May 28, 2015
we are good in manipulating but in real it is not the case
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sinhalese buddhist / May 27, 2015
Thanks Deepthika for highlighting the laws related to rape in SL. In addition to reforming laws, I think we need to engage people in introspection about sexuality and myths/flasehoods related to both male and female sexuality and gender in SL.
Cultural ideas about gender, “purity”, the relevance of virginity and responsibility for child rearing need to be analyzed and reflected upon to see how some of our cultural ideas are no longer helpful to our society in the contemporary world where there’s much sharing of cultural and sexual values across the globe.
If buddhism has taught me anything it is that nothing is permanent – thus we have to constantly recognize the need for change, and adapt accordingly. One change happening in the contemporary world – especially in South Asia – is a sexual liberation. In light of these changes, we need to teach our children how to be responsible and respectful of others’ and their own sexuality. Thus discussions of rape, homosexuality, transgender issues are all timely and important.
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Sengodan. M / May 27, 2015
It is customary in some male dominated societies that are still in a feudalistic stage to insist on “purity” with regard to chastity as applicable only to females whereas the males enjoy full freedom in sexuality. These attitudes have to change.
Sengodan. M
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Theja / May 27, 2015
Where is Sharmini Seresinghe ? We would love to see an article by her
supporting this. She was very quick to defend mulsim women wearing the “burqa” !!!
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Dr.Goebells / May 27, 2015
Deepthika
It is important to investigate the politically connected beast in the south who raped hundreds on females , and had a party to celebrate his achievement . Two very senior ministers of the government at the time , are also reported to have attended this ‘ party ‘ . These criminals and those who give them patronage , should be exposed, and brought to justice .
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ahfzll / May 27, 2015
Thank you, Deepthika,
In total agreement that the Sri Lankan mindset – is warped in many ways and needs URGENT change.
One facet of this warped mindset – is plain to see – in the comments that you have received up to now. What is highlighted is not the subject matter – RAPE and its motives; ways to prevent it; Legalization that gives the victim justice!
The insight that you portray is about preventing rape. The mindset is such, that even the death penalty for rape would not deter the gang rapist. Each, wanting to be a part of powerful gang that the associate with – each trying to better the other.
The current mindset seems to be – if one wants to succeed they have to join a group and show the group that they are worthy of belonging.
Unfortunately, for the rest of us – they become partial in their thinking.
Politically, it is the party that matters – with nary a thought for the voter.
Religiously, it is in the name of “my god” – others are on the right track to hell. Here we have the different denominations fighting for first place.
We have had individuals changing their religion in the name of Poly-tricks.
Racially, this becomes a sick mindset – as even among the same race, we have the caste system – that segregates people into different categories.
Each have their unique ways of justifying their actions. Analyzing the behavior – it seems that the each of us can do, pretty much, anything we want – as long as it is within the consensus of the group ideology.
Understanding the root of the problem may assist in finding solutions.
Wishing you all the best in your endeavors and in a lighter note:
I trust you will be able to get like-minded people to form a group – that will eventually end up in being partial – ONLY to the groups interest(s).
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sach / May 27, 2015
Please do not misinterpret. This is not Sri Lankan mindset, this is purely Fazl’s mindset influenced by his extremist and mid east religious tradition.
Look at the video where a policeman talks to a set of women protesters, (the one where every pseudo liberal blamed policeman, ). what did he say..he said ‘your men should be brought up properly’. This is the mentality of majority of the people that it is the man at fault and not women.
So no this is not SLn mind, this is the racist and sexist ISIS fellow, fazl’s mind
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Native Vedda / May 27, 2015
sach
Did Fazl demand death penalty for those who in the name of country and cronies raped those hapless woman in the North East during and after the end of war?
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sach / May 27, 2015
Please construct a question properly
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Native Vedda / May 27, 2015
sach
“Please construct a question properly”
Are you sitting on your brain?
Why are you sitting on your brain?
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sach / May 28, 2015
Again reconstruct properly what you intend to write idiot. break sentences where it is needed. I am not bound to answer your gibberish after decoding
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sach / May 28, 2015
If you want to drop your usual anti Sinhala vitriol, let me say this.
No body rape a woman for country. There is no evidence of a mass scale rape. In instances where there were evidence, those who committed the crime had been punished.
So come up with a proper story and with proper source. Fazl is a sexist and racist sociopath. A mere glimpse of his FB page would reveal that. He was justifying ISIS when ISIS were massacring Yazidis. But the racist tamils enjoyed Fazl’s racist tirade against Sinhalese.
SO now enjoy when this ISIS psychopath tells your tamil women to wear a robe like a Muslim woman.
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Native Vedda / May 28, 2015
sach the stupid racist
“No body rape a woman for country. There is no evidence of a mass scale rape.”
Read this article:
TimeToAct on Sri Lanka: Why Has the Global Summit to End Sexual Violence in Conflict Forgotten the Sri Lankan Survivors?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bianca-jagger/the-forgotten-
survivors-sri-lanka_b_5474307.html
“In instances where there were evidence, those who committed the crime had been punished.”
Could we have details of the victims as well as the names of rapists, and details of punishment.
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sach / May 28, 2015
So how do you say what is in an article is true or not? How many false things CT itself has published? A proof is a detailed account with the names of witnesses and not hereabouts.
Remember Krishanthi’s case?
If any soldier was found to be guilty he will be punished that s all. But they wont be punished just because you hate them for killing prabha
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Ruwangi / May 27, 2015
Well written article. You put into words, so eloquently, what I could not. Thanks !
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Ben Dover / May 27, 2015
Let’s collectively condemn the terrible crime that took place in Jaffna, and all other such vicious sexual and domestic attacks on women, but let’s also not forget that we humans are products of evolution, and while the vast majority of men are able to resist such primal urges to take one’s chances despite the temptations / provocations and live peaceably in society, our innate characteristics and therefore the ‘bad’ behaviour exhibited by the so called sexual ‘deviants’ cannot help but reflect our evolutionary history.
Take a look at this book review for a bit of perspective in the animal kingdom and the correlations drawn to humans, as well as the selected extract below the link:
http://www.americanscientist.org/bookshelf/pub/despicable-yes-but-not-inexplicable
///QUOTE: The most compelling contribution in this section is a paper by Melissa Emery Thompson, who argues persuasively that most rapes are not committed by lonely, socially maladjusted men, as Thornhill and Palmer imagined. Instead, rape is a crime most often carried out by men who are sexually experienced and connected to the victim in some way. This changing view of rape is no doubt a reflection of better reporting of crime statistics. That in turn is a result of society having begun to take a more expansive view of such criminal acts, which women of earlier generations might not have been willing to report due to fear of social stigmatization. It should not surprise us that acquaintance rapists far outnumber stranger rapists, nor that the modus operandi of sexual assaults differs in the two different contexts. Acquaintance rapists are not necessarily pathological in other social contexts; they rarely resort to the levels of physical force or violence that stranger rapists employ. All this, Thompson argues, should contribute to a view that acquaintance rape accords with evolutionary perspectives about the rationales for male dominance over and control of female sexuality. And as Thompson puts it, even if an evolutionary perspective does not help us understand how to prevent sexually coercive behavior, “it may give us a clearer picture of the enormity of the problem we are dealing with.”
Section four concludes the volume with chapters on the counterstrategies employed by females to cope with the risk and the reality of male sexual coercion. A female may form an alliance with one male in hopes that he will protect her from aggression by other males, especially aggression toward her infant. Such “friendships” have been well-known for decades now, but as Ryne Palombit points out in his chapter on baboon protective friendships, it’s not entirely clear how these alliances work. Nevertheless, the data are clear in showing that such friendships do make life safer for females. Tommaso Paoli notes that in bonobos, alliances between females may be the primary factor in discouraging intense male sexual coercion. UNQUOTE///
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alam / May 27, 2015
Man is a biological animal, therefore it is common-sense if a women is dressed to attract the male species, in a provacative way, there will be more rape in those countries. most western countries Rape is very common,though all the writers and the liberal type can say-this is a fact. Females are also responcible for the increase in rapes as well as men. In US to reduce rapes male children are Given ADDH Pills when they are young, thats another problem in itself. with Drug abuse etc…
Its no point having a Ostrich mentality, fact is mini skirts will increase more rapes…
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Alahakoon / May 27, 2015
Visit lap/pole dancing club to see how men behave in front of sexy, beautiful, naked (“NAKED” )girls….
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shobana / May 28, 2015
You don’t need to teach your daughters how to dress….if you teach your boys not to rape.
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sam / May 28, 2015
Rapes are more common where the laws are not properly in effect.
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su siri / May 29, 2015
Are you telling us that there are no rapes , gang rapes and the likes in countries like India, Pakistan and even arab countries where women are covered literally from head to toe? Education is the refinement that separates human beings from other animals, teaches them to curb their inappropriate urges. That is the hallmark of civilized individuals. Consensual sex is different from rape . Using sexual violence as a weapon to suppress a woman is inexcusable , reprehensible and disgusting behaviour. ADDH medications in the USA are federally controlled drugs prescribed by certified clinicians for very specific attention disorders.
You seem to be confusing opinion with facts. It is really easy to find the correct information. It is called researching facts. The real Ostrich mentality is to keep finding excuses for the horrific crimes against women. Please come out of the dark stone age that you are stuck in.
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Emma Fernando / May 29, 2015
It seems like this is the hundreth time I’ve said this this week and I don’t understand how such a simple idea is hard to digest for some – Women do not dress to entice men or bare themselves provocatively for men. Women, just like men, dress to be comfortable because it’s a fraking furnace outside. If a woman/girl wearing shorts is enticing to you, the problem lies with you, not them. No woman is coming up to you and shoving her boobs or crotch in your face saying “look at how provocative I’m being” .. no, that’s all you!
Having a woman’s body should not automatically make you rape bait. We have breasts, we have figures, we should not be made to feel ashamed for being born with this body, and we should not be forced to “dress modestly” because you can’t deal with a body that’s different to yours.
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Vanguard / May 27, 2015
The recommendations of the report:
[1] ‘Why do some men use violence against women and how can we prevent it?: Quantitative findings from the United Nations Multi-Country study on men and violence in Asia and the Pacific’, Accessed 26th May 2015.
(for those with no time to read)
Recommendations
1 Change social norms related to the acceptability
of violence and the subordination of women
2 Promote non-violent masculinities oriented
towards equality and respect
3 Address child abuse and promote healthy
families and nurturing, violence-free
environments for children
4 Work with young boys to address early ages of
sexual violence perpetration
5 Promote healthy sexuality for men and address
male sexual entitlement
6 End impunity for men who rape
7 Develop interventions that respond to the
specific patterns of violence in each context
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Indu Wijekoon / May 27, 2015
Well said girl. Very proud of your courage to come forward and stand by women’s right. Our country needs many more representatives from the younger generation, who were well raised and educated. It s time your generation come forward to save our country from such illiterate people and bad governors of this country.
Thank you Deepthika and good luck for your future
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Emma Fernando / May 27, 2015
What a great piece and response. Thank you for posting and poignantly dismantling that atrocious excuse of an article. It left me with a bitter disgust that views like his are still a thing in this society after all the progress we’ve made.
Faith in humanity restored.
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P.Rajeswaran / May 27, 2015
An excellent article with a forthright assessment of the issues involved in situations of this nature. Deepthika’s opening sentence was a direct rebuttal to Mr.Fazi’s article expressing her anger and disbelief at his antiquated and discriminatory views expressed on a public forum like the ‘Colombo Telegraph’. She courageously responded to Mr.Fazi’s comments that his views are misleading and dangerous.
The arguments she had elucidated with facts and figures in support of the main problems that need to be addressed on the Sri Lankan education system and the antiquated Sri Lanka statutes on sexual assault and the criminal justice system are commendable.
We need a generation of Deepthikas and Thisuris to rise up breaking all barriers and forge an awareness and enlightening campaign to put a stop to this growing menace and to bring back the Glory of Sri Lanka.
Germaine Greer’s quote as reflected by the author is a pertinent one in relation to Mr.Fazi’s article. I am amazed to read the article of Mr.Fazi, a social/political activist, which made me wonder whether he is on the side of the perpetrators.
P.Rajeswaran
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Norm / May 27, 2015
“The highest prize in a world of men is the most beautiful woman available on your arm and living there in her heart loyal to you.”
Norman Mailer
Norman Mailer is referring to the ideal of a mutually respectful marriage relationship, undoubtedly.
This ideal inspires many young men. However this is not the mindset of some of the villians in our society who don’t share this ideal.
To deal with these villians in society I suggest the following:
1. The community should take a stand and communicate that harassment of any type in unacceptable. Parents tell your children, schoolteachers tell your students and Politicians tell your voters, best of all Police please tell your community.
Total silence has been a huge weak point in our communities.
2.Enforce existing laws and punishments. (not the half hearted liberal western mindset meausures )
3. Make it an offence to observe harassment and not report it to the police or to the school. At least question those who are witnesses.
4.Sex education is not as important as teaching people how to behave. Sex education texts should have illustrations should show what is acceptable touching and contact, for example, if at all. Any inapporiate behaviour has to be reported.
5. Zero tolerance on harassent should be preached, monitored and reported on.
6. Provide alternative activities, sports, vocational training and so on for boys.
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Maghribi / May 27, 2015
An Atheistic society would rather deny the causes of rape than face up to a remedy.
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f=ma / May 28, 2015
Maghribi there is a guy called Richard Dawkins who is willing to help you. He will raise your IQ leaps and bounds.
All the best.
Sincerely,
f=ma
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Navin / May 27, 2015
Miss Appuhamy
Certainly you can write; but your comprehension leaves much to be desired.
You say:
Quote:
When we allow individuals such as Mr. Fazl to rfreely provide justifications for heinous acts going against the very fundamental principles of humanity, we obliquely encourage predators to carry out their attacks with no reservations.
Unquote
That is a bloody lie unless you cannot comprehend written English.
So what you say boils down to women should be free to flaunt their sexual assets indiscriminately regardless of time, place or in front of whom. Fine, Mohammed Fazl has not suggested that women do not wear the kind of dress you are wearing [Edited out]. So what’s your beef with Fazl?
Mohammed Fazl has acknowledged the woman’s right to dress any way she wants. But only to be mindful about when where and in front of whom.
I am not a pup anymore, and I have seen much about this world. I can tell you that rapists are a special breed. They will always be there. The only way to reduce their numbers is to hand them the death penalty, or worse mutilating them in such manner they are unable to repeat their barbarity.
Miss Appuhamy, the little education you show does not qualify you to criticize Mohammed Fazl.
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Prasad / May 28, 2015
Looks like another Jihadist wishes to protect his male chauvanist colleague Farzi.Shame on you guys.
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Funlover / May 29, 2015
Navin,
Why do you have to be such a spoil sport?
I really enjoyed reading the stuff rolled out by Miss Appuhamy.
[Edited out]
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Spring Koha / May 27, 2015
Deepthika, Thank You for your excellent article. You stand shoulder to shoulder with Thisuri, and other sisters of Lanka who have shone a searching light on the cancer that has blighted our communities for far too long.
It is an abiding shame to all Sri Lankan, that our womenfolk have their independence and safety compromised because we, fathers and sons (and including our teachers, our police, and our political leaders) cannot contain the growing forces of evil and impunity.
Rest assured that you are not alone in your struggle; the times must, and will change.
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Patriot / May 27, 2015
All crimes happen within a context. The rape in Jaffna happened as an act of revenge by the three dudes who wanted to teach the mother of the victim a lesson. Their recourse to their remorse come from the core belief they hold that defiling a woman is the most shameful act that can be performed to disgrace a woman. Taking this event to portray Sri Lanka as a country filled with rape incidents is going overboard. Any society has its serial killers, rapists, thieves, bootlickers etc etc. It is their in all societies. So lets meet out justice to the victim by hanging the bastards who raped and killed her rather than making mockery of the incident.
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Analyst / May 27, 2015
Find the real murderer convict and castrate and give death penalty.
Don’t fabricate stories because it suits you. Either it’s the boy friend or family feud or depression end of the story.
Find the true murderer. Not a fixed one.
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MirakRajBanda / May 27, 2015
Diebutterfly- As I remember it’s not 200 lashes but death penalty in Saudi Arabia that make their country one of the safest in rape and sex related crimes. Next close contender apart from Arab world is Singapore!
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justice / May 27, 2015
MirakRajBanda,
As I remember, in Saudi Arabia, a woman who accuses a man of rape, has to provide four witnesses to the crime.
A man can anytime divorce his wife for infidelity, (or even without any other reason) without any proof of same, by reciting a phrase (I do not know it) four times, facing the direction of Mecca.
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subo / May 28, 2015
Ahahahha….anyway, its perfectly legal for them to ‘rape’ and torture their housemaids no?
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thondamannar / May 27, 2015
“In Response To ‘Are Women To Be Blamed For Rape?’”
The answer lies with Modi’s female subjects in Hindia where a female gets raped by the hour each day……….
Are we following the Indian trend ???? Or does for the same reasons rape takes place in Sri Lanka as well ????????????????
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Deshapriya / May 27, 2015
[Edited out]
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carlion / May 27, 2015
Can Fazi or Alam definitely say that the women raped recently were scantily dressed? Was Vithya dressed immodestly inviting rape? I believe a woman walking alone in a desolate area is more likely to be raped.
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Sellam / May 27, 2015
Nobody comments on those female fighters who surrendered to army and who were taken in a truck, raped and murdered in cold blood and the corpses were burnt and destroyed. No one knows how many. How about Isai Priya who was captured by the army and was raped and murdered. Are they not human beings. It is the trend now in Sri Lanka after the war. The war has created this dreadful change. It did not happen to such an extent in the olden days. The rape and murder of Vithiya has a deeper plot where the police has failed to investigate properly. There seems to be twelve men involved in this pre meditated barbarous act and three from the same family. How is it possible? The lethargic attitude and corrupted custodians of law and order is the main reason for the collapse in moral behaviour in the North.
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Tamilian outside SL / May 28, 2015
I heard following regarding, but it Can be faulse information;
Vithya’s rape and Murder is a revange from a group of people in Kayts.
According to the story a gang was doing lots of atrocities in this region, with
the support of a political party supported by influential politicians.
With the new goverment this party is silent. The story goes the gang members were
Doing criminal activity and people from this community was afraid to come foward, where
Vithya’s mother went forward and gave evidence. The main person got 5 years in prison
Sentence. The brother of this person came to Sri Lanka with money and planed this criminal
Offence and conducted it.
I hope our legal system gives maximum prison centence and make sure that all these criminals
are rounded up and kept away from socity or rehabilitate these elements. These people are product of
A political party and the party should also be removed from political life or rehabilitated. These elements are
dangerous, we also have these elements in South of Sri Lanka in other political parties.
It is the responsibility of the law enforcing agencies, goverment, politicians and each individual citizen to act against violence, corruption, suppression and human decentcy.
Asians are sexualy active race, we created kamasutra, sexualy motivating paintings, culptures and pleasure centers. In Olden times girls were going toples. At this time we dint have more rapes because Ladies were going topless.
We need to educate our socity and improve our legal system with rule of law.
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