18 September, 2019

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Sex & Food Conundrum

By Kasun Kamaladasa

Kasun Kamaladasa

It’s quite fascinating how ones need for both food and sex can be described by the same words (Appetite, Hunger, Crave, Thirst, Desire etc.). It’s as if people just unknowingly brought these seemingly unrelated activities together due to the similar importance they play in our lives.

What surprised me for a long time is that although our attitude towards food has been changing to accepting of diversity, our attitude towards sex has been changing towards rejecting diversity. Both being basic human physiological needs, how it has happened is rather tragic.

Food & Sex – 101

Last year, I had some opportunities to visit villages and other groups of people in Sri Lanka, who would talk about their attitude towards food. That is when I realized that even though schools, hospitals, food industry and media all heavily invested time and money to teach people the value of diverse nutrition and healthy food habits, our economy and policies have not yet done a good enough job to reinforce it. I’ll elaborate on that little later.

First let’s take a short journey through time of how our modern cuisines came to be.

Everyone knows that we used to be hunter gatherers, then we learned how to domesticate animals, then we became farmers, then we moved to processed foods and today sometimes it’s even hard to say where all the food comes from. (But this change didn’t happen simultaneously everywhere in the world, there are still millions of people who die of hunger, millions more who are poorly fed, some eating the same thing every day, billions who don’t eat correctly to receive the required nutrition)

Since sex-education is still a taboo and not so many people know how sex changed throughout the ages, explaining it is little tricky. Lack of it in school history lessons and its change being much less consistent throughout the world ads up to the confusion.

Similar to how our cuisines evolved interaction of sex started from the hunter gatherer tribes that had their own practices that suited their tribes (or the tribe leaders). When some groups started establishing villages they came up with concepts of marriage. Marriage between two people was set in some tribes while in others it was more dynamic. When farming required fighting for huge chunks of land, concept of marriage was modified as means of sharing land. When Industries allowed people free time and freedom to travel a concept of dating was formed. Diverse forms of brothels and institutions coexisted throughout history and finally some parts of the world came to re-acknowledging sexual liberation (in some communities the story might be slightly different).

Similar to how in some parts of the world, people continued to take insects (Around 2 billion people regularly eat insects as part of their diet, and over 1,900 species are edible) and other animals that we normally do not see in our restaurant menus, people in certain parts of the world have very different tastes, when it came to sex and sexuality.  

Just as important it is to know how these industries and environments changed, it’s also important to understand how we ourselves and our attitudes changed, in Sri Lanka. 

It’s kind of fishy

Long ago eating a fish from sea would mean that you would have to live in the coastal area; you either have to have something valuable to trade or go fishing by yourself in a boat (with no one to warn you about storms and tsunamis); you would have to come back home and try to clean the fish (without any of the fancy knifes we have now); you’d have to be a person with a good immunity to not get sick after long days/hours of sailing in sea or after eating unpreserved/unprocessed fish. 

Today, with societies that have relatively better systems in place you might be able to enjoy the same fish and receive its nutrients. You might even find other foods that supply some of the same nutrients that you would otherwise receive only from fish (If you were allergic to fish or simply intolerant to fish this would be amazing). You could eat it every single day without waiting for a fisherman or a merchant to come to where you live.

Why is eating fish so important? People who have met a nutritionist would never have to ask this but in case you do this is it. Fish that come from the sea contain omega-3 fatty acids and vitamins such as D and B2. Fish is rich in calcium and phosphorus and a great source of minerals, such as iron, zinc, iodine, magnesium, and potassium. Omega-3 fatty acids especially do not come from other sources of our normal day-to-day food, which is not only responsible for brain development but brings benefits to your heart health as well (some researches shows up to 50 percent lower risk of dying from a sudden cardiac event if you have fish 2-3 times a week).

Finally, you could certainly live without eating fish but studies shows that people who have regular fish in their diet have better brain development than those who do not. Sure you don’t have to have a developed brain (relatively) or a healthy heart, plenty of people don’t, but wouldn’t you rather have those advantages than not?

Diversity of Sex

Dynamics and understanding of sex and marriage vary a lot depending on where you live, what class of society you belong to, sexual orientation, what you consider to be sexual (ex. Nudity for some might be purely sexual for others it may simply be nudity) and even your personal experiences (abused as a child, personal fetishes, incorrect sex education). 

Keep in mind that just like some people might enjoy and benefit from having fish for dinner you might not be able to enjoy it; some sexual experiences too might not be for your tastes (It doesn’t mean others should not enjoy it too) 

Not that sexy

Not so long ago, marriage was a simple way of sharing wealth and dividing land. Sex and romance might and might not have played a role in it, depending on the individuals who came to the agreement of marriage. Brothels and extramarital relationships weren’t always frowned upon. In some parts of the world not so long ago when people went months on voyagers they would even write back to their wives/husbands about their sexual encounters/conquests. 

Unlike with food however sex in some parts of the world became less diverse. Age old regulations, religious and social shaming that were put in place, due to lack of knowledge and medicine, still haunt us. Societies have failed to realize the damage it has caused at personal and social levels. Even though we have systems to deliver fish to everyone who so desires, we have failed to deliver diverse methods of sexual exploration/satisfaction for many and it is not for lack of any demand or even supply.

Why is sex a requirement? Unless you identify yourself as an asexual or have been shamed by society to the extent that you cannot enjoy sex, it’s pretty self-explanatory, but for sake of completion let me list a few benefits. After the simple fact that it can be very pleasurable the most profound gain in regular sex for both society and oneself would be the building up of compassion and trust with someone other than yourself. The amount of physical health benefits that regular sex brings-in, range from simply being a good cardio workout to reducing risk of cancer. Mentally it reduces stress and risk of going into depression. 

Finally, just like when it came to fish. You will not die without having sex. You could be less compassionate, you could be untrusting and not trustworthy, you could live with depression and you won’t die today from a heart attack or cancer, due to the lack of sex, but wouldn’t you rather be socially and mentally healthy than not?

Side Note

Hopefully my weird examples would have helped you to open your mind and explore human sexuality. But my intention of writing the article isn’t just about that. It’s to explore how society has been slow to realize this for several generations and how it came to be and what we can do about it.

Little bit of history

Couple of hundred years ago, human life spans were about 30 years. With sexual maturity coming at 8-11 (with time this has also increased, now it’s about 10 -14), with possible miscarriages, death during pregnancy, still births, infant deaths and simply dying of wars and natural disasters, women needed to have as many children as possible to ensure our mere existence. So evolutionary wise we had an advantage of loving sex.

Then as we advanced as societies and started to make the world a much safer place with less death in all fronts, population started to become an issue (we didn’t have any of today’s technology and resources were much more limited) instead of people dying because of natural disasters and health issues. People would die of poverty and hunger. Wars started to immerge just to grab resources that were needed for the survival. There was also the concept of marriage where children were supposed to be supported by couples, instead of society, so basted children had a huge disadvantage in society, not cared for by either of the parents. So one way or another, having children who the society failed to look after was becoming a problem. We of cause, cannot exclude the lack of knowledge and surveillance of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

So religions and some societies, came up with a half-baked solution of shaming people into not having extramarital sex and it evolved with time to a point where all kinds of sex became shameful. 

Thanks to advancements in contraception, antibiotics, antivirals, antifungals and other medication, development of welfare and childcare systems and relatively safe abortion methods, science has made it possible to just enjoy sex and reap the benefits with much less negative consequences. Meaning while sex and childbearing are no longer linked, sex and relationships still are. STDs are avoided and cured not from shaming sex but understanding how to identify and protect yourself from them.

Coming back to food 

It’s surprising, how food has also been a victim of similar sorts of shaming, even with all the education we receive about them. One of the most controversial of these being a vegetarian or a vegan. I do respect their compassion for animals, but just like not having sex should be a personal choice, so should not having certain foods. As medical students we see lot of statistics of groups of people and one significant group is vegetarians and vegans who are shamed and forced into not eating fish and meat. Since they are not educated on how to receive nutrients, they otherwise would only get from animal sources, they tend to fall sick with various diseases (There could be rare exceptions who will not get sick, but that is not the norm).

Just like sex traditions would limit one from being emotionally developed, food traditions could also limit one’s ability to gain the most out of nutrients or receive too much of one type development. Sri Lanka is a prime example for this, where people prefer to eat white rice over everything else, many people I meet tend to eat it 3 times a day and feel hungry without it, in their diet. Restaurants and hotels all have white rice without exceptions. There is not enough research done to link white rice with increased risk of diabetes and heart attacks, but there is plenty that show increased and uncontrolled amounts of carbohydrates ultimately lead to these medical conditions (Statistics show that diabetes is a rising concern in Sri Lanka) 

Beyond traditional lifestyles

If you are an athlete who requires extra proteins or an anemic person who requires Iron and Vitamin B12 or someone suffering from chronic kidney disease requiring control of salts and proteins or you live in extreme weather conditions, you would require different diets tailor made for you. Even if you are none of the above, you might need different diets to feel healthy, lose or gain a few pounds, or maybe you just like the way your bowel movements are smooth or rough after certain foods.

This same applies to sex for different people in different circumstances. Unmarried single people, married people with a spouse who doesn’t like sex, Disabled people who might find it difficult to engage in normal sex, People who have different fetishes, People who can’t have children, Prostitutes, People who are naturally little more sexually active, Children who achieve premature puberty and naturally start to explore sexuality soon after. Studying medicine and history has taught me that no amount of legal action and shaming will stop some people from engaging and exploring their desires. For those who do surrender to these social pressure it could lead to the decrease in their mental and physical health. It should not be hard to understand the declining health of individuals will lead overall deterioration of our society

Understanding food, took time

Benefits of having variety of nutrients is common knowledge to most of us now, since it is taught in schools, advertised in food packages, discussed in media, included in government policy, promoted by organizations like WHO, reminded by our doctors. But until recently food was thought as a means of survival for most of us. If people had rice and salt to eat it was considered enough. It took us a long time to realize how important it really is.

Unseen complications of denying sexual freedoms

Fertility – The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that girls first see a gynecologist when they’re between the ages of 13 and 15. In many countries medical professionals recommend yearly or 6 monthly visits (after ~16 years) to a gynecologist to ensure every girl (women) is well educated and know about their sexual & reproductive wellbeing. Sadly, in Sri Lanka due to the lack of sex-education many people don’t even know, who a Gynecologists is, until they are pregnant or fail to become pregnant for several years of marriage and a midwife urges them to go to an antenatal clinic.

Attraction – Sexual attraction is a very complicated sensation. It is heavily influenced by the world around us. Sexual shaming of different sorts could lead to reduction of self-esteem and make people believe they are useless and disgusting. The lack of understanding that different people have different desires might ruin an otherwise sound relationship.

Compassion – Lack of compassion in lot of people in our society is not a strange thing. Sometimes we even joke that person might be acting like that because the wife, husband or lover doesn’t look after them. What is sad is that it might actually be the ugly truth than just a joke.

Trust – Moving apart from basic intercourse is a difficult scenario that requires lot of trust. What may be one person’s “darkest” desire might be a joke or weird thing to someone else. Before we try to extend trust to society we must be able to share it at-least with the people who we choose to be intimate with. Without our most basic trust building exercise other attempts might be ineffective.  

Life threatening scenarios – while learning forensics one interesting topic for me was autoerotic asphyxiation. It was till recently and even now sometimes misunderstood as suicide. But what it is actually an accident, while attempting to masturbate (enhanced by asphyxiation for more pleasure). So the conventional method of stopping people from getting into this would be to ban all literature and media about such events. The problem is plenty of people still find or stumble upon to this practice. Today what sexual therapists recommend is teaching everyone the dangers and teaching safe methods of achieving similar satisfaction without harming oneself.

Depression – There is depression and stress that everyone has and there is depression (medically diagnosed) when people cannot overcome it, on their own. While regular depression and stress could be easily overcome by healthy libido that excretes natural dopamine in the process, regular sex could reduce your risk of going into medically diagnosed depression.

Impotence – Past few months I have seen several articles written by doctors who inform public of how using medication such as Viagra should only be used after consulting with a doctor in certain conditions with the monitoring of other vitals (To be safe). Viagra can help certain people, but it isn’t a miracle cure. Most of the time young people face impotence out of fear and shame, and is (at least supposed to be) treated by behavioral therapy. Which would be much easier to do if sex was an open matter to discuss from childhood.

Abuse – Sex education gives younger people the confidence required to speak-out, when they are being used and abused. It allows them, at least partially, to understand the emotional connection and responsibility that comes with it. It also allows other people to understand that each person might be sensitive to certain experiences and require patients and understanding to build a consensual and thriving relationship.

Economical loss – Prohibition of prostitution has never in the history of mankind stopped it from happening. It only serves to enhance corruption, allowing gangs, police and politicians (people with power) control over bodies of sex workers. It promotes a black market that benefits only those who are willing and able to break the law without consequence. It allows them to run a multimillion rupee business without paying tax, without taking health precautions and without paying sex workers proper money or providing them proper safety. 

Prohibiting and restricting nudity and sex in cinema has limited artistic outlook on the matter making understanding of sex in society even more difficult.

Prohibiting import and selling of sex toys yet another lost opportunity. (It is important to know that in most countries sex toys are already prescribed by medical professionals to boost people’s libido, as a preventative measure for prostate cancer, as treatment for impotence and many other similar uses) 

Ignorance – understanding different people have different pleasures and interests and could even be physiologically different is a part and parcel of growing up. Even in this age of information, I meet too many people who do not realize that gay people, transsexual people, and other groups of people who just don’t identify with normal genders due to medically explained conditions also have the right to live happy, fulfilling lives.

Social (Dating/ Courting/ Wooing)– Lack of clubs and places where adults can meet and explore their sexuality creates an environment where people are forced to do it elsewhere creating unprofessional work places and institutes, Sexual harassment of Juniors and Peers. Even public transport has become a place of harassment since the lack of other spaces to express oneself.

Loss of other related freedoms – when we were young bathing in waterfall or pond naked was pretty normal. Nudity wasn’t sexualized as much as it has now. Seeing a breastfeeding mother in public wouldn’t cause people to start masturbating and both men and women could pee behind a bush freely without being harassed or feeling violated a norm. But religious extremists and self-proclaimed saviors of our “grand” culture have made these harmless activities into a whole mess. We have even gone a step further with policemen harassing young couples in parks, just for sitting together and holding hands. Kissing in schools made a spectacle in media with people shaming innocent children in public for something totally normal, scaring them and other children for life.

Next step

According to Maslow’s theory of motivation we normally do not go beyond to achieve other complex needs (safety, compassion, respect, morality) till our basic physiological needs are fully met, so sexual education and re-establishing freedoms should be a priority, if our society is to move forward. Reeducation of police, school staff and medical professionals on the matter, is also paramount importance in establishing sound education for children. A media campaign that fights off myths of extremist groups and having an open conversation would also be required to emphasis the importance of sexual liberation, as a country.

Education on food and nutrition hasn’t completely managed to bring all people to eat healthy, but many people are aware of it, and some use it to their advantage. Since less regulations are implemented in the sector now, than it used to be and less subsidies are given to one single industry, slowly we are transitioning from eating rice and dhal every day to having a wider variety of dishes (with nutrients) even at home. Restaurants and food chains are opening up with alternate and healthy food. If we had a little more effort from health sector to indicate the importance of different diets. A more updated, responsible(accurate) and dynamic information system that is displayed in gyms, schools and hospitals. Less politicians trying to bribe people by giving irrelevant subsidies and false visions of a nation filled with rice, we could achieve greater strides.

In summary

Sex and Food both require somewhat similar attention to build a better society. Both require moderation, but a significant amount freedom. Both needs could vary from person to person. Both should be openly discussed and researched. Both can be dangerous, if not understood and studied correctly. Both of them are basic physiological needs that cannot be substituted (at least for now with the technology we have). Let us not discriminate and let’s stop being ignorant about these matters that seem minor and irrelevant, but have discreet short term and devastating longer term social impacts.

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Latest comments

  • 5
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    I think this is an adorable attempt by this writer to present his hypothesis about this topic. Well done and keep writing. I think he really tried to keep returning to the central theme and to tie up his argument. More power to you!

  • 0
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    Kamladasa: The solution to every problem creates more problem. IF you teaches Ses you are giving more prominennce to emotions, feelings. WE have a better culture. I don’t know about you. but, sinhala buddhist culture had solved those prbolems. Our history says, that a woman wearing jewellery could walk from Rajarata to ruhunu Magampura alone without getting attacked by sex crazy animal men. I know in the west sexaul assaults to wmen are by men mostly known to them. Some one told me, 95% of the Datings ends in man having sex with the woman and most of those are forceful. then take so so many weired sexual practices inthe west. because men and women are tired of normal engages, So many sex related diseases. Teenage pregnencies, Marriage breakdowns after few month to several years because both the man and the woman are used to be promiscuous. what is the less problammatic way. Sexual education, Sexual freedom or controlling your own emotions. Even Catholics Say do ot have have pre-marietal sex, teenage pregnencies and are against abortions because abortions are used t control their lack of control. On ther other hand, Christians are killing Homosexuals because they do not know what way to control. tjeir religion and behaviour is opposit to each other. I heard, 10-20% of Evenglists priests are HIV-AIDS positive. that is the result of Sexual freedom. LEt them learn once they get married and not before that. Other things mother may teach the daughter etc., YOu are ver young do not write things that you do not know or things you assume you know.

    • 8
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      This saying applies very well to Jim Softly’s philosophical outlook.

      Kaushik Basu (@kaushikcbasu)

      The tragedy of religious fundamentalists & hyper-nationalists is that instead of spending time trying to do mathematics, philosophy, literature or science, they spend their time trying to show that 5000 years ago their ancestors did mathematics, philosophy, literature and science.

  • 1
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    Here sex s very liberated. I here young women get killed by going on a date Because, they know everything and they go beyond the norms. I think, the recent Attacks on dutch torusts are related to sex. Because, Sex is like smoking among them. but, Sri lanka is not used to that culture.

    • 7
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      Kasun,
      Great article! But I get the feeling that you don’t live in Sri Lanka. Good for you, it will keep the moral Police of your tail.
      “But religious extremists and self-proclaimed saviors of our “grand” culture have made these harmless activities into a whole mess. We have even gone a step further with policemen harassing young couples in parks,”
      It is interesting how the same culture (or was it ?) that produced the Sigiriya frescoes is getting more Victorian in its morals by the day. Why indeed should religion be mixed up with sexual mores or women’s attire (or lack thereof) ? Hypocrisy is rampant. The very same guardians of public morals abuse their juniors or have children with concubines.
      Someone said : ” Religion is like your penis. You may be proud of it, even boast about it, but you should not whip it out and disply it in public”.
      Great and imaginative writing, Kasun.

    • 1
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      J S
      Teach to masturbate.Makes everyone happy singlehanded.
      Get it.
      Get real JS.

  • 0
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    You haved written a really stupid Artciel. IF you think Only SEX and Food are matters, why do you think you wear trousers and ties ?. You are comapring humans to animals. there is a culture among youth in the western countries, itis Drugs, Beer or hard liquor, and the opposite sex. Once they hook up they end up in some where covered. YOu approve that culture to sri lanka. What experience you have ? OR you are chaeting with your photo ?

    • 3
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      Jimbo,
      “You haved written a really stupid Artciel.”
      Why don’t YOU try writing a better one? What’s an “Artciel”?
      “You are comapring humans to animals”
      Should humans be compared to aliens then?

  • 8
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    In early societies sex was freely available while food was hard to find. Today food is freely available while sex is hard to find. Mankind is never short of problems – natural or invented.
    Soma

  • 0
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    This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn’t abide by our Comment policy.For more detail see our Comment policy https://www.colombotelegraph.com/index.php/comments-policy-2/

  • 13
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    Dear Jim,

    It is disturbing to me how ignorant you are, how you are able to live in your own fantasy world of made up make believable culture of yours.

    At least three children are raped in Sri Lanka each day, indicating that the incidence of sexual assault of minors is escalating. – SundayTimes 2010

    One rape in every four hours in Sri Lanka’, Sabaragamuwa Province Governor President’s Counsel. – DailyMirror 2017

    You may also consult pediatricians and who deal with abused children and find out many sexual molestation occur in Buddhist temples by monks.

    If a catholic or a christian does some thing it is right? what kind of logic is that?

    You obviously have never had friends at University or School if you think Sri Lankan kids don’t do drugs.

    Do you only hear things in western countries? or only in your head? Have you never heard stories of how Sri Lankan women are Domestically abused, Raped and keep silent or committed suicide? How husband and boyfriend commit suicide after they get to know about these stories?

    Unlike the author you may be old, but it seems that is all you are and nothing more. Unable to grasp reality, understand the society isn’t what you think it is in your head.

    You keep repeating a false story about our history thinking it will make it true, that isn’t how history works.

    But alas I know writing to delusional man is pointless so I won’t write anything more

    • 0
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      LEX LUTHER You can live your Fantasies with Fantasies. Sri lanka had a culture, I am not talking about christians, and it worked. We know how the western culture which believes only about material things had been destroyed. We know how Japanese and South Koreans young women come looking for white men and how they are desrroyed both intheir country and outside. Why don’t you do your fantasies with your wife inside your home and not outside. Domestic violence is wrong. Men sleep with foreign prostitutes or listen to horro stories and kill the wife is different. You are promoting those like an idiot. Are you used to kill your wife ?

      • 7
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        All riled up Jimmy boy, are the voices in your head getting stronger? Are you feeling threatened by open sex? will your wife sleep with other people if sex was liberated? are you secretly gay? you don’t have to be homophobic boy, come out of your closet. We will accept you.

      • 6
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        Jimmy,
        “Sri lanka had a culture, I am not talking about christians, and it worked. “
        So in your ancient culture, there was no sex? Even though the ladies were topless and the gents with Amude?
        So how did they reproduce? By laying eggs?
        Oh, I know what happened to your ancient culture. It died out because all men became Buddhist monks and the ladies ran away to Arabia to get some you-know-what.

        • 2
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          old codger

          ” It died out because all men became Buddhist monks and the ladies ran away to Arabia to get some you-know-what.”

          Ibn Batuttas Traders came from the west with goods and stayed in this island for many months until the the arrival of right kind of winds to get back to their country. Sometimes it took three to six months. Have a guess what did they do during the their stay in this hub? What was their entertainment. Ibn fathered many children away from his country.

          What do you think what the South Indians do when they came here, the velaikkarar padei (mercenaries from South India) in point ?

          Please don’t look down on those women who provided Kandyan Hospitality to foreigners and outsider. It was widely accepted cultural norm.

        • 0
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          Stupid OLd Codger: The western democracy promote Sex as food. What we buddhists say, and what I” say, those are all hormonal reactions and biological reactions. Even food at free will make you OBESE. So, havr discipline. Other wise, HIV-
          AIDS, Shingles, HERPES, STDs, HPV (different kinds of Cervical cancer). YOU Evangelists want prostitution legalized, PEdophilia, Male prostitution promoted and urban girls t be #hores.

          • 0
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            Jimbo the dumbo,
            “Stupid OLd Codger: The western democracy promote Sex as food. “
            So that’s why you work in Toronto? They really give you sex instead of food? Or is it only for Buddhists>

      • 0
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        Dear Jim softly..

        What ?????

        I would really like to understand what you are writing… but you make it impossible for me (and I am sure many others here) with what you clearly believe passes for English

    • 0
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      Lex Luther: You are to the point.Ref ” Child Abuse by a Monk in Habaraduwa

      Uploaded on May 29, 2010″ Re Sri lanka Guardian,There was the case of the anti muslim man- rer rohingas_ punished by the courts, there was the case of three such monks arrested by the Matara police for abusing a boy, there was also the case of a chief priest raping a girl who had just attained.
      Why do you think the the senior monks prefer very young boys to be enrolled in the Sasana? because they have pliant flesh.

      On mu own, about 64 years ago I came across a scene, which I later realized was a group getting ready for group sex at a temple.

      What do you think the Sigiriya frescos represent? They were certainly not drawn by the “Soldiers”

  • 0
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    Mr Jim

    Overage consider less important for (Appetite, Hunger, Crave, Thirst, Desire etc.).
    Youngster has importance to play in our lives. (Appetite, Hunger, Crave, Thirst, Desire etc.).

    • 0
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      RBH: Allow Muslims girls to wear so she can show her bidy parts.

      • 5
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        Jim has a crush on a Muslim girl. Oh, what will your parents say? Will they accept impure blood? You might become an outcast.

        • 0
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          Ha Ha. Jim rhymes with dim. but wait; doesn’t that how your brain seems to be working? Find yourself a cave and move in ASAP. Good luck dim jim :)

  • 1
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    This article can be both agreed and disagreed at the same time. Either way, it’s the writers opinion. He’s practicing his every right to voice it

    • 0
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      SHAJEETH: YOu are one with out an opinion. You say you have not seen the societies that had been sxrewed up big time. You know only how to read English and not to think,.

      • 8
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        Jimbo can think, he is soooo good at thinking, but he can’t read. please excuse him.

        • 0
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          Let’s sympathize for him @inner voice

      • 3
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        Jim the dumb,
        “You say you have not seen the societies that had been sxrewed up big time.”
        Why do you continue to live in a screwed up society then?

        • 0
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          YUSUF: I Know stupid MArakkayas live women.from other religions while they ask their women to cover head to toe. that is why BBS is essential in Srilanka. Shiv SENa, BJP are eseential in India and also similar organizations.

        • 0
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          I live among MArkaayas but I a, not going to blow up as they do. How much you donated to DAESH last time,

  • 1
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    Dear Kasun Kamaladasa,
    .
    Thanks for writing so sensibly and well.
    .
    Sex is a subject that must be discussed sensitively and seriously, as you have done. You, as a doctor have written scientifically – and reading it all can only have a positive effect, except that the hypocrites and the perverts will try to talk about some culture and religion that are bogus.
    .
    I’m ,p> not saying that spirituality, love, and devotion are aspects that are separate from sex, but clear-headedness about all issues is very necessary; I’m sure that you’ll agree.
    .
    What some of you detractors are doing is to mouth meaningless platitudes.

  • 2
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    Dear KK, In line with the topics that need to be discussed for the “mental and physical” well being of our society you have touched the most important issue that required to be discussed a lot more thank you.

    I think our culture is very hypocritical when it comes to discussing sex full stop. We have made this natures need into a very masscdistic event which has led to all kind of issues in our society…to name the few……..people are violent, abuse, misuse, loose their manhood/womanhood unable to express emotions, psychological problems …..the lists goes on……specially within the religions we have not discussed sexual issues too…..

    We do not even discuss why we do so well in societies you can express yourself…….outside of SL…….look at India has the same issues………..it is a continental issue……..we come from a continent who wrote kamasutra but once more it is others who are benefitting from this ……..we like to make “love” instead force to “kill” each other for the time being……

  • 1
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    Food and sex are the prime need of a Man. Without food man cannot be strong enough to have sex and without sexual pleasure there cannot be procreation .Food is a matter of choice and sex is a matter of variety in form.

  • 3
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    Thank you all for the encouragements and acknowledgements, I’m glad you all liked the unorthodox presentation! I will try to write more, similar articles when I have time.

  • 0
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    KAMALADASA: IF your sisters, your mother and your daughters in the future are freely thinking about sex and engage ins ex how do you feel. Approve it. OR when they get one of the many different sexuality related diseases, how proud you feel. Here the marakayas who practice incest and rape and christians whose priests GAYS with HIV-IAIDS talk sexual liberation.

    • 1
      0

      Jimbo dumbo,
      “OR when they get one of the many different sexuality related diseases, how proud you feel. Here the marakayas who practice incest and rape and christians whose priests GAYS with HIV-IAIDS talk sexual liberation.”
      So you have never had sex?? That explains SO much. You don’t want to have sex because you are infected with HIV/ STD and you don’t want to infect your partner.

    • 4
      0

      Jim,

      It’s clear to me you lack the ability to read and understand.

      It’s funny you think females should have approval from males to have sex. (For a person who keeps blaming Muslim people for controlling women, this is pathetic)

      Your understanding of sex and STDs itself is reason enough to have better sexual education in Sri Lanka.

      Rape and sexual harassment is lower in sexually educated communities (This is a fact) compared to poor and religious communities.

      The spread of STDs in communities is a complex phenomenon, very little to do with liberal sex, I don’t have time to explain it. Maybe in a follow-up article I will.

      Gay people having HIV is due to discrimination in treatments, drug use (that comes because of social isolation and depression), poor screening facilities and poor sex-education.

      I do not appreciate your rude, uncivilized ways of communication or discrimination and Ignorance, I hope CT Editor will take action against trolls like you who are the real reason for so many problems in Sri Lanka

  • 2
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    Dear Dr Kasun Kamaladasa and Inner Voice,
    .
    Fully agree with your assessment of Jim Softy.
    .
    A troll and an idiot. Recently “old codger” asked him if he doesn’t ever sleep. He trolls all day, all night on every article on CT.
    .
    He’s usually insulting; ascribes base motives to all others. What motives he has, I have never been able to fathom. He’s thoroughly inconsistent; never takes responsibility for what he says, and refuses to identify himself. I once even sent him my e-mail address and offered to discuss his problems using any of the means of communication at our disposal. He saw that offer; said something insulting in return.
    .
    I’ve been accessing CT only after Yahapalanaya made it possible to get at the site directly, without the use of proxy servers. When I go back to some of the earliest CT articles (you can do that by searching the archives), I find that he’s been trolling from the inception.
    .
    Yes, if action is taken to block all comments from Jimmy anywhere on the Internet, I shall whole-heartedly endorse it. Not everyone may have the time to say so much about this public menace, but I’m sure that there’s nothing even approaching uniqueness in what I’ve said.

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