By Kiribanda De Silva Sumansekara –

Dear President Obama,

This is the same Sinhala Buddhist person who wrote you about a week ago. I am a true Sinhala Buddhist and I am truly angry that world does not want to learn anything from us even though Sri Lanka is the only island of Dharma left the world.

But on reading my previous letter again along with really unpatriotic comments to it, I realized that I was wrong. I was wrong to call you ‘an idiot’.

I am writing you to say “I am sorry.” And I am sending this note through Madam Michele J. Sison,  your ambassador, in our beautiful country since I want her Excellency to know that I am sorry. Otherwise hurt by my previous letter to you, she would stop taking Sinhala Buddhism classes from great monks of Bodu Bala Sena, Sinhala Rawaya and Jatika Hela Urumaya. They are greatest teachers of the meditation of loving-kindness.  It is a well-known fact that those great monks teach the Great Truth in Buddhism to all ambassadors in Sri Lanka. They can teach at least in six languages, and that has been the tradition of our country. Your ambassador is the best student in those classes. If the Christian fundamentalists do not burn down Buddhist temples now mushrooming in every American city, the message of Buddhist truth will surely take root in America. With your ambassador’s Sinhala Buddhist background I trust her to deliver this message to you. I have given her my consent to publish this letter if she sees it fitting.

Let me get to the main points. First of all, I am sorry that I have called you an idiot.  Sinhala Buddhists are known to say “sorry.” We have learnt that from our state itself. Remember right after the ending of the war in 2009, our president said, “I am glad the war is over. As a Buddhist person I am sorry that if my armies mistakenly hurt any innocent Tamils. I am sorry if a child, a woman was killed in the war. I am sorry if any properties belonging to Tamil people were damaged. I am sorry if the cows belonging to Tamil people were killed.” That historic speech is now more famous than the Gettysburg Address. It was a very touching moment in our history. We all cried on that day. We cooked milk rice (an auspicious food) and took them to the Buddha and collectively said “sorry” to every victim of war. So, I am not shy to say sorry to you.  Sir, you are not an idiot.

In fact from my Sinhala Buddhist vantage point, you are a genius. Let me explain why. When you bring up that proposal against us in Geneva, we will light firecrackers in Sri Lanka. All our streets will be a sight to watch. We will cook milk rice on streets- not the milk rice of repentant that we cooked in 2009 but the milk rice of utmost happiness.  We have an election coming up. That election is going to be a battle between enemies and heroes of the Sinhala nation. To put it in the words of our great sage Nalin de Silva’s words, it is a battle between slaves of Christian Judaic thought and Sinhala Buddhist thought. Your Geneva proposals are going to support us, Sinhala Buddhist heroes. Now, I realize that it is your plan, too, you genius!

Already our hero President has got our people crying by saying, “I am ready to sit in that electric chair. Now in Sri Lanka we can walk safely in streets, now we can play with kids in parks, now we can travel in public trains with no fear. Even I as the president do not take my security personnel personal with me when traveling around the country. I have disbanded the Presidential Security Division(PSD). I have sent back my personal body guards to their usual underworld duties. I travel by trains by busses because I have no fear now. My ministers! They too have no fear now. They do not use a single security guard now. Because we have no fear.  We have peace. I have created a country that has no fear of life. If there is an iota of fear in someone, there are plenty white vans of peace.  I have created peace. If that is a crime, I am ready to go to that Geneva electric chair.”

When our president utters such brave words banging his chest with his hands so hard the entire Sinhala Buddhist nation erupts in a patriotic elation.  During this election, he will do this performance wherever he goes. Thank you Sir, You are a genius.

Our president is also a genius, obviously. He has given the leadership of the Western Province Team that runs for the election to one of greatest Buddhists in human history. He is already performing nicely like a great actor. “If Geneva wants send a Sinhala Buddhist to that killer chair, I am ready!” Please ask your ambassador in Colombo, she must have seen heroic oratory of Mr. Gammanpila Upasaka– (upasaka is an honorific name given to true Buddhists by god Sakra.) Gammanpila Upasaka is man of non-violence, and during the war, along the next Buddhist president of the country, Mr. Champika Ranwaka, he was fighting for “tree-rights”, “animal-rights”, “water-rights” and so on because he was sure that there were no human right issues here.

Then, minister Wimal Weerawansha, who made Google company bankrupt by sending it out business in Sri Lanka, is already claiming that he has the most credentials to sit on that electric chair in Geneva. He has already bought a one-way ticket to Geneva so that he can sit on that chair on behalf of the president or along with him. Dear Mr. President Obama during this election campaign for provincial councils, our Sinhala Buddhist heroes talk about that magic electric chair in Geneva more than the officials chairs the councilors are sit in when then win the election. Thank you for that, you are a genius.

I know that you helped us during the war. Your country was influential in getting the LTTE banned in Europe. I am Sinhala Buddhist with a great sense of gratitude. Now, even during this relatively small election you are helping us again. Please give my sincere thanks to Tamil diaspora agents who are pressing you to bring these Geneva proposals. This election is the dress rehearsal for a presidential election next year. So, when you bring those great proposals in March, our president by banging his chest, can convince the people that he is the man who is ready to die for the country. Thank you Mr. Obama, you are a genius.

Dear Mr. Obama, you know that we do not have anything to hide. You can watch all the War Movies made those days by our national TV. We did not fire any heavy weapons. When we were really pressed to fire them, we directed them straight in to the sky, and having seen that awesome display of fire power, the terrorists ran away and people came towards us. By the way, please tell your Tamil diaspora friends that the LTTE was real Gandhian, and what they had for guns were just toys looking like guns made of some palm tree branches, and that made our war largely non-violent. About this fact, I will be writing a “thank you letter” to the Prime Minister of the LTTE exiled government.

Let me wind up this short thank you note for now. Please go ahead with Geneva, it is the best thing that can happen to our president at this moment. What is good for president is good for us, people.

Sinhala Buddhism teaches us that a non-Bodhisatva must not be the king of this Island of Dharma. Therefore, we know that all our kings are Bodhisattvas. Our president is our king; so he is a Bodhisattva ready to sacrifice himself on that Geneva electric chair.

By the way, if you want to run for presidency again please let us know. We will bring some proposal against you citing examples from Iraq, Afghanistan, from everywhere in the world for that matter, in Geneva so that you can bang your chest really hard sying, “I am ready sit on that electric chair” for the sake of American democracy,  Hollywood, KFC, Pizza Hut, World Peace and so on. You will be the president in America again in the same way ours will be next year.

Thank you again for your Helping Sri Lanka Project in Geneva. Even the greatest country in the world needs some help once in a while.

Sincerely Yours

Kiribanda de Silva Sumansekara